How I Beat the Devil
This is directly written towards those who have depression without it being trauma induced.
I’ve found the courage to share what I’ve learned from my experience battling the devil. The devil I’m talking about is Depression; the persistent sense of sadness but also the inability to see a future. In my experience it feels like numbness; lack of passion or purpose in life. Radio head explains it rarely in their song how to disappear completely. You may notice the flecks bursting through the harmony; that’s your will to live. What do you hear?
How to Disappear Completely — Radio Head
This illness is powerful because IT sounds like you in your mind; why would you question your own voice? There are peaks and valleys, in the peaks, you second guess whether you are depressed because now, you’re fine. Why get any help when you aren’t sure? That’s how IT tricks you into walking deeper. Do you have a hard time staying motivated; even for simple tasks or activities, you used to enjoy? Is the sky grey on a sunny day? Do you feel nothing when someone hugs you? Check in with yourself. Try to remember your behavior 3 months ago.
Tips
Battle Isolation:
↠ Get out in nature
↠ Surround yourself with people who care about you (family/long term friends), even if every fiber in your being is saying “I don’t feel like it”.
Battle lack of interest:
↠ If you are feeling unmotivated EXERCISE. Again, even if you don’t want to. Exercise creates endorphins in the brain that make you happy!
↠ Make yourself do a previously enjoyable hobby for 15 minutes. More often than not you’ll hit a state of flow and lose track of time.
Why make yourself do things? You are not your thoughts or your feelings. This lack of interest is a trap. What are you if not your thoughts and feelings? Your a soul. How do I know this? Keep reading.
The best thing you can do with mental illness is take up journaling.
1. Self Awareness: Meditate; sit and close your eyes — instead of focusing on your breath and dismissing your thoughts. Observe them, what comes to mind? Write them down. What do you smell, hear, taste, feel (touch) at this moment? Notice how once you open your eyes after this activity that things appear more vivid; your mind temporarily empty. That’s present.
The app: Pacifica is a tangible tool that helps you stay on track on your journey to self-awareness and diminishes the effects of anxiety.
2. Mindfulness — the art of reprogramming your brain: once you become comfortable with observing your thoughts. You can start questioning them, ask yourself “why?” Detach and try explaining the reason as if you were in the third person. Example: “I’m such a loser, I’m not going to get anywhere in life!”. “Why”, can you find any objective reasons?
3. Roots of Fears: What is fear? It’s the primal instinct that triggers the adrenaline fight or flight response and hijacks the brain. This response is essential for survival, if not overused. If you want to get over unnecessary fears. Observe thoughts — ask why? Look in your past for a trauma. Recreate this experience in the present day; more often than not our memory distorts it into being worse than in reality. Example: Spiders — gross, creepy, bites (primitive function is likely relating it to venom and death)- Recalls mother standing on the couch screaming at a giant spider in terror- Observed spiders behavior in nature; understand not all are venomous, eventually, you can take the plunge of picking it up. No harm was done, arachnophobia seized! With every fear faced, your self-esteem and confidence grow.
4. Let go of Perfectionism: Our culture puts a lot of pressure on us, it’s a huge competition. I have to remind myself only to compete with my past self.
Read: Monsters with Pompoms
Learning to be comfortable with vulnerability allows the transition from “not good enough” to “my best is enough” become even easier.
Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown
Present Over Perfect — Shauna Niequist
5. Statements: After taking up mindfulness journaling and diving into these life-changing books. You can start writing statements, statements are the glue to reprogramming your brain. The brain loves repetition. Take a negative thought and change it into a positive thought. Example: “money doesn’t buy happiness” — “money supports my happiness”. You can write daily statements, post a statement to your mirror or use them actively every time you observe a negative thought in your mind.
6. Vision Boards: If you prefer visuals over written statements. Create a vision board of your beliefs, your life in a year, or what matters to you in the present. Once your collage is complete, have it as your wallpaper on your phone or computer. Seeing it multiple times a day instills it in your subconscious with minimal effort. Just make sure it’s realistic!
Canva is a great app for vision board creation.
You are not your thoughts or feelings, you are a soul. I’m confident in saying this because as you observe all the chaos; experiment with chiming in. Can you hear yourself asking “why?”, “where did that thought come from?” I’m going down a negative spiral again, how do I make this stop?” That conscious voice is the real you, your soul. That’s the only voice you listen to because it’s the only one you have 100% control over. It’s your will to live.
The law of attraction is the energy field of the universe. How does it work? It is connected to the frequency of your thoughts. What you think about manifests in reality, whether it’s positive or negative. You are the architect of your life.
You are a Badass — Jen Sincero
7. Establish Faith in a Higher Power: whether it be God or The Universe, visualize all of your worries/doubts/emptiness of the future appear as balloons. Let go of the balloons and watch them drift up into the sky. Do this every time you feel buried. This exercise allows you to trust that you’re taken care. Having faith also can create support groups and a greater sense of hope for a better tomorrow.
8. Self Love: It’s amazing once you realize your higher power loves you whole heartedly, even though they see all you’ve done and all you will ever do. That kinda grace allows you to look at others this way and eventually yourself. Feel pain; past or present. Seems like an oxymoron, but if you suppress pain you become angry, if you suppress anger you become numb. Which is exactly where the devil wants you. Feeling numb might seem easier but if you suppress negative emotions you also suppress positive emotions. Let it go: cry, punch a pillow. Set a timer and let yourself feel every bit of it. Experiment with the feelings; know they cannot physically harm you. There’s peace at the end, I promise.
Practical Self Care Tools: Take a bath, go for a walk, journal, be creative, turn off your phone etc.
Michelle’s Self-care Box Video is also helpful!
9. Let go of Insecurity: Insecurities feed on fears; there have been lies told to you that you believe. With the skills of mind reprogramming and facing your fears, this battle will be a walk in the cake! For more resources: So Long, Insecurity is one of my favorite Christian reads.
Ultimately my largest swing at the devil was the commitment to live. I’ll be honest, I had the optimal opportunity to end it all; disconnected from friends, dissatisfied with work, a mess of a relationship you name it. I told myself “if you’re gonna do it, do it”. “If you want to fight, fight — give it everything you’ve got. Commit to living, try everything offered to you to beat this. You are called to a battle.” If you’re reading this so are you, let’s team up.
