Hurt. Guilt. Move on.

People move on. Who doesn’t agree? Move on from? The Hurt.

The one who is hurt has moved on already unless kindled on the exact instance and even if so, the intensity differs.

But what about the one who has hurt? Depends.

Depends on how significant the person is to them. Guilt is the natural order of emotion that follows & it should.

I once fought with my sister, not sure of what, as an 8 or 10-year-old, and broke her teeth in front of her friend. I feel deep remorse thinking of that incident even today for the shame & pain that I caused her. It’s been 20 years now. With every moving day, whenever I look back, I realize the intensity is more. And does she even feel hatred because of this? No. But, has this reminiscence rekindled her emotions? Yes or rather may be. Does that mean she’s going to hold a grudge on me? No. Is she going to laugh at me for quoting this post 20 odd years? Maybe.

So that’s the depth. To me, it still feels guilty because she’s very important to me, I love her much & much. To her, it’s inversely proportional. She loves me enough for her to let it go or rather look past the incident. Trust me this is not the worst thing I’ve done. I’ve been much worse. Just to make you realize, it’s not how grave the incident is, it’s how important the person is and how it affects our internal emotional signal called guilt.

Look back at the times when we have ignored mom, made dad feel less valuable, humiliated siblings. Feels worse. I’m loathing myself, thinking of things that I’ve done in my life which I’m not proud of. And you?

Think of the recent conversation we had with each of them recently, lucky that you’ve got them around, in case you are not at good terms, you can mend it. Right now, I feel guilty. For all that I’ve done and said. For all that I haven’t done and said.

This guilt looks insurmountable.

An action in the past cannot be changed no matter how much we wish it would. Accept the fact that it happened, mend things & avoid committing it again.

Reverse the game. Has someone hurt you? Yes.

Mom? Yes. Dad? Yes. Siblings? Yes. Friends? Yes. Strangers. Yes?

How many of those incidents do we immediately recollect? It’s none for me. Hardly a few for the rest. A lot has happened in the years we have rolled.

Do we still feel the hurt every time we see the person who caused it? Probably there’s a natural way of insulating our hurt and pain that is being good for all around. But, for the one who has hurt you, depending upon how significant you are to them, the guilt of the incident can be as fresh as it has happened now.

But we all get it now, if we hurt, yes we need to be guilty. Learn what to say and what not to say, what to do and what not to do. And once we’re clear, we make sure that we keep the relationship strong by not letting it rot because of what we did, make things straight & step up. There’s no point ruminating over it.

Remember the incident though, because it has taught you what that person means to you because it has made you a better person because you are what you are today because of it.

Trust that you are much valuable to the person that nothing matters as a speck of dust. Because when they do something, that’s how you are gonna take it. Be fair to yourself.

At the end, It’s okay. It’s okay don’t pull yourself down.

Foot Note:

Probably if you feel that it’s hard for the person to get over what’s done to them, just realize, you have shattered them. Because, not all incidents are petty and more importantly, you haven’t stood back to make it up to them. Please stand up, stand up to claim your mistake and make up for it because it as well shows how important the person is to you. Even if it means changing yourselves sometimes.

And do look back and make sure that you aren’t making anyone feel guilty. It’s like tying a stone & jumping into the water. Hard to get out. It’s okay!! Don’t pull them down. It’s already a broken mirror.