The Art of Listening

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” — Dalai Lama XIV

This quote has been my very good friend, especially in the recent years of my work life.

** Disclaimer (before we go further)- I’m no expert at listening skills, but this is my personal-professional diary & I love sharing what I think about the topic. There are dedicated professionals who expert this field & if you were given a choice to pick one of our advices, pick them :)

I’ve matured into my profession, I’ve observed how successful people are not only good at bringing new ideas to the table but also are extremely good listeners.

Here’s how I brought better listening into my routine-

1. “But.. I wrote it!” ＼(^o^)／

Emails, meeting invites, architectural diagrams, structural dependencies , read.mes — are you reading them? Properly? Or at all?

A lot of times meeting agendas, architectural details, caveats, work arounds- a lot of information is already mentioned in documents floating all around us. The most basic form of listening, according to me, is to absorb this information or even start looking for it in the first place. I call it “passive listening”.

For me, this is not the next level to “active listening” which I explain in the next point, but really prior to it. This is because sometimes passive listening could completely replace active listening at a lot of places and avoid unnecessary dialog. It’s all about looking for the right piece of written information at the right place.

2. “I am listening my best”

I cannot emphasise enough on this- being a speaker to an inattentive audience is very discouraging. I have been on both — the sending (yes, I’ll be honest) and receiving ends but I’m definitely working very meticulously to better myself constantly. Here are a few exercises I follow-

• Make eye contact with the speaker
• Body faces the speaker so they feel they’re welcome to continue the conversation
• Avoid thinking on the back of brain about another piece of work (while even talking to someone)
• Pause for a moment before jumping ahead with the question
• Let the other person finish their sentence
• Summarize the conversation in order to clarify if your understanding is correct rather than abrupt interruption
• Avoid cross-talking
• Being present in the moment

Following these exercises definitely does not mean to avoid asking your questions, just suggests thoughtful questioning as compared to frivolity.

Being cautious about your own behaviour automatically brings about better listening capabilities.

I’d love to know how you induce better listening into your daily dialogues!

And of course, hope my analysis generated thinking buds & help you experience better conversations.

All images are drawn and copyrighted © by Venus Nautiyal. In order to use any images please acquire prior written permission from the artist.