When A Bruised Heart Has Had Enough
You stare in the mirror after the storms.
He was suppose to be your knight and shining armor. Its so hard to realize he’s the monster in the closet. Its almost unfathomable to comprehend your not in love with him, your in love with the “what if's” of him. The “what if he doesn't realize he’s hurting me.” The “what if it really is my fault”.
You stare in the mirror. Your eye isn't black but he has left a purple and yellow mark on your heart. Your mouth isn't bleeding, but your mind is covered in red liquid iron. The pain isn't physical. But it is so real you feel it like a punch in the face or a stab in the chest.
You continue to stare back at yourself till the marks manifest into reality. Your heart is aching, But it’s not aching for the lose of his love. Its aching for the lose of yours. Your self love has fallen away. But the knight in shining armor is not his role to play, its yours.
UNDER THOSE WET CHEEKS LIES A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR
You do not need anyone to save you. All rescuing is done within. It is not your fault. His distorted love is not your burden to carry. For awhile it will hurt. Mourning the lose of all the time you spent trying to “fix” you.
You've hit rock bottom. And the pebbles are sharp. The climb back to the top will cause your hands to crack. Your body will be drenched in sweat and doubt will start to creep back into your mind. It will be dark and full of draining shadows. Hang on to your soul. At the top of the climb, above the clouds and the demons, is a new world. Full of purifying energy. Full of the love you were longing for. The love of yourself. Its a terrible journey. But it was all for a reason.
