
Who are you ?
The elevator dings. The doors slide open and as if a magician had just brought them back after vanishing them moments earlier, there stood a beautiful lady and a rather old man, both were all smiles, not waving their hands though.
I just had a snap look at either of them before picking up my spot in the elevator. I didn’t dare to take another look at the girl. I had my head down as I entered. But that quick, half a second long look was enough for me to register that she is beautiful and probably another half at the old man. As the elevator doors were closing, I was already in my wall street guy mode — staring intendly at the numbers on top, as if nothing else mattered when the old guy said “ in which school did you study, you don’t wish good morning to a beautiful young lady in elevator?”.
I wanted to answer his question but I looked at her, at which point she was also looking at me and we exchanged good morning wishes. She is indeed beautiful I thought, but the old man repeated the question “ Which school did you attend?”. I gave him a straight face emoji while muttering the answer under my breath.
Indian.
You know the place where a guy wish a girl whom he hasn’t met before is regarded as 'hitting on’ , I come from the same place. And on a personal level I have witnessed a few incidents wherein the girls were at the receiving end at the hands of some boys and I pledged to myself I would never ever make someone uncomfortable not even with my gaze. So when I see some unfamiliar person of the opposite gender coming across my way I usually dissuade my eyes, even if I find her beautiful coz I don’t want to be the guy who is trying to ‘hit on' her or make her uncomfortable. For those who know little about me I’m a shy person. As for the old guy in the elevator I had bad education.
So when the elevator doors opened I waited for the lady to go first and then the old man, trying to redeem myself. All in vain I felt.
It’s been two months since I started working in Dubai. For those of you who have been here will know how the crowd is like, it has people from all over the world, such a mixed culture. And going with my observation — the best of all cultures. Because the same Indian who would litter carelessly back home will walk 20 meters more if he has to to dispose a waste paper. As for me I have been in a learning mode ever since I came here trying to absorb what’s best and understanding the norm here so that I don’t stick out as different, so that I don’t tarnish my nation’s image coz of my behavior.
I have learnt so many things after coming here. All the small things which most of you do on a regular basis, unless you are in India. For instance on my way back that same day I was at the metro station, again by the elevator, there were two young adults coming back from office - judging by their dressing, a mom with her baby in a stroller and another middle aged woman. So when the elevator arrived one of the boys held the door for the mom and the middle aged woman, for which they said thank you. They even allowed me to get in before they did. Now all these are something new for me, holding the door, not just elevator doors, for the person coming behind you so that the door don’t slam shut on their face, to say thank you for the person who held it for you but of course by now I have grown used to it and I myself practice it. I have seen vehicles here stopping for pedestrians even if they are coming fast and they would even wait until the pedestrian gets on the other side. Back in India, however, things are pretty different. If the driver see a pedestrian about to cross, he would rather accelerate than slowing down so that he can pass before the pedestrian starts. And if he is already crossing then the driver will be like the one in the movie “speed”, he can’t slow down below a certain speed otherwise the bomb will go off, so he calculate the space behind the person on foot so as to pass through without ever slowing down. Good luck to the vehicle coming behind him in spotting that person on foot.
Back in the metro, my thoughts lingered on such small yet powerful values that the place has taught me. My thoughts were interrupted though, with an unusual announcement. Due to some technical reason ( bad weather ), the train will terminate at the next station and passengers can continue their journey using the bus transport service available there.
As I was making my way to the exit I could see through the window a bus waiting for us. And that was the only bus available for further commute for an entire metro passengers at office closing hours. The spectacle reminded me of my school days. Racing to be the first to get on the bus. I saw the same guy who held the door back at the station trying to get through the ladies’ door. I could see the same lady who said thank you back then hitting the men with her handbag trying to get through their door. The ones with the kids didn’t even approach the vicinity as they knew they didn’t stand a chance. Pushing and shoving each other just to make sure their ass was inside that bus when it leaves, it was chaotic to say the least. There was one particular lady who could have been a distant relative of “the Rock” (Dwayne Johnson ) going by her performance, and as soon as she got in, she turned around to tell the lady behind her that “ the bus is full and it can’t take anymore commuters. It won’t move if it’s so full.”
From being polite, friendly, well mannered and courteous to animalistic behavior where survival of the fittest was in order. I stood there watching everyone unravel their true self before my eyes.
I knew that I will be late to reach home that evening nonetheless I stood there for a while longer. To fathom the harsh reality of mankind, I needed time. Weren’t they taught well in their school that they seems to have forgotten everything when the situation needed it the most, I wondered. And for the rest, who were not taught, did they merely adopt it for the sake of complying with the normalcy, adhering to the standards without ever ingraining it’s importance.
Isn’t value supposed to be inherent, something that lies deep within you, which defines you? How can it evaporate into thin air with the slightest of changes in one’s environment?
Who are you ? In a perfect world, you are well mannered, polite, courteous, caring and friendly.
You are who you are when you’re alone. You are what you become when adversity hits.
So next time when you see me at the elevator don’t smile, don’t exchange wishes, don’t do anything coz somebody taught you to do it. Do it only if you mean it.

