HE SAYS… Do sex toys add excitement to relationships? Or do they send the message that your partner doesn’t think you can satisfy them?
Sex toys? Yes, I have been shopping for sex toys several times, but I’d be a lie if I said I bought many. Buying the occasional lube has happened in my past. However, not to toot my own horn, I have been a fan of my hand since grade school. With as little as lotion I have been able to add levels of excitement to masturbation with my very own hand. I’ve never thought I wouldn’t be able to make my partner feel the same.
That doesn’t mean I ain’t tried a few sex toys in my day. I believe sex toys are just that, toys. I feel they add a level of excitement to a relationship, but that line could be easily crossed. I have heard stories of people using a sex toy too much and it making your partner feel as if they can’t satisfy you without it. I have heard stories of jealousy when the toy is used solo, without their partners. I have also heard the fears from men that a sex toy meant that their partners believed that they didn’t know what they were doing in bed.
What I say to that is, some men will have it and some men won’t.
An insecure man would feel threatened by a sex toy because-to him-it says something about his masculinity. It also springs forth thoughts of self-doubt and inability. I feel a man secure with himself; knows his limits and accepts them. I feel if a man is lacking sexually in an area and is true to himself, he can pick up slack in other areas. Hell, I learned early that I needed to pace myself. I learned my body enough to know that I need to ease up and focus on my mate if I wanted to share my climax. Fellas, it’s really not hard to ask questions at all. Find out what she likes. In the end it shows that you understand that not all women are the same.
If a sex toy was used a little more than I’d like, I think I’d see it as a challenge. Not a measure of my ability. That’s when you start pulling out tricks, that’s when you start having sex in public or exotic places like Yahoo Headquarters in Sunnyvale.
I do feel sex toys can add a level of excitement to a relationship. It just depends. It depends on the sex toy, it depends on the reason for the sex toy, it depends on the individuals getting the sex toy and how the sex toy is introduced.
I personally have always been confident in my ability to satisfy my partner. A sex toy is just that, a toy to me. I don’t think a toy can do what I can, so I don’t feel threatened by sex toys. Nor, do I feel the need to be jealous if my partner wants to satisfy themselves. Sex toys are a part of foreplay in my book, sometimes you need it, sometimes you don’t. I mean, if a toy can get you there quicker or better than I can, by all means, let’s play. Because I’m going to get mine regardless.
Catch up or get left behind.