A Reckless Drive to the Future
The self-pacing time that awaits for the desires of the people of what lies ahead; are we ready for this?
It was midnight as I stare at the dim screen of my phone, checking if someone else is awake. I was unable to sleep as my bed was aligned near the window, making me hear the loud whistles of the wind pass through it. It was a dark, cold night when I ponder, how will I pass through it — the future?
I believe that I am an organized person. During 8th grade, I already had a methodical blueprint for me to follow on my succeeding years yet my contemplation was not the only hurdle that I need to jump on, there were a lot of hindrances before I made an action. Hurdle after hurdle, I made mistakes and restart a plan for myself again.
In a few months, I am supposed to take a track related to the course I will take for college yet in confusion, I don’t have a personal choice. “What are these tracks for anyway?” I assumed bewildered, disregarding what the future will hold for me once I make a decision. I never saw any significance from it before; I thought that it’s just a waste of two years in my life.
As I debated with myself through my head at that lonely night, I got tired and cussed at myself: “I’m hopeless.” I felt like I was irresponsibly driving without a road to take and a destination to go. I keep erasing the plots to start another drawing but it turns out that I’m just making a fool out of myself. “My life depends on this,” I continued inside my empty head.
It was almost impossible for me to go to bed as these thoughts were disturbing me, making me fear for what I will be. I dreamed for becoming a nurse, a doctor, an author, a veterinarian, a lawyer, and a lot more yet the years I will waste for my own education can be given for another reason like traveling the world and giving time to myself, so is it worth it?
I told my mother about what’s bothering me and she told me, “Education isn’t a waste of time; it’s an investment for your future.” It did not struck me for awhile, but I feel like it will be buried in my mind forever. My family has a lot of ambitions for me too and they support whatever I will take but I told them, “I’m tired of this, I don’t want to do this anymore,” and teared up.
Thinking about the future worries me as a lot of other problems are weighted on my shoulders; as someone who is mostly leaned on and as someone who is mostly looked up at, it really stresses me out. Giving myself time makes me anxious whenever I think of all the school related activities I’m missing out yet I don’t even have a determination to pursue something before I become a working class.
However, I opened my eyes as I regarded people around me who are in their worse scenario than I do. Yet, people with power and knowledge does not turn their backs at people like me and help us to realize what we truly need. There are a lot of career orientations taken place not only in schools but also in the Internet and other necessary places it can happen.
There was a career orientation in my school on late September wherein multiple career paths were discussed in assigned classrooms in one of the buildings. It was a weekend and a lot of students in my batch gave it up just to hear the experiences of professional from such given paths. I was inspired with how everyone discussed about it; during that time, I made a decision.
I began another blueprint to follow, a new road to drive on, and a location to go to; it was a relief that I already made the most important choice for myself, for my future, and for the people who looks up at me.
