When Singleness isn’t always a gift

A fresh look at flying solo

I have exhausted the topic of singleness in my life. Being an ‘older’ single can be kind of crappy. I’ve heard every possible flip on the subject, God wants you single so you can do a great work, God has you single because He needs to heal you, God has a mate for you but He hasn’t arrived. You need to be content before your ’boaz’ will show. You need to be happy with Jesus as your boyfriend.

STAHP.

I wonder how Abraham felt all those years waiting for his son to be born.

I wonder how Sarah felt being her age and childless. The whole town talking about her, wondering if she was being punished by GOD.

Marriage and family are gifts and rewards, why would God deny someone a reward, only to give it to another freely. It makes you question God’s love for you at times.

I know singles feel that they are being punished by GOD. But can we take a fresh look at it. Is it possible that God isn’t happy about your singleness either.

God weeps.

Is it possible that since marriage is a ‘good’ thing and a good desire, that He weeps with you. when you see in tact families and you do not have one. I think so. When you are having to deal with the lack of companionship or family sorrows. When you have no children to call you mom, or lead the right way. When you have no provision for your desire for marriage. All will ‘suffer’ in the flesh. It pleased God to ‘crush’ Jesus but not because God takes delight in our suffering, but because of the good that would come out of that suffering. But this is not God’s best, our sin is the reason we cannot ‘have what we want’ If you are desiring marriage for the right motives, and not to be selfish I think God weeps when there are no weddings, no joy, no gift.

I think God weeps when divorce and promiscuity, rob His children from happy marriages and godly fulfilling homes. When adultery or lust and abuse wreck the marriage

Singleness is a gift.

But only when it’s a gift. It’s not in the manner you may think. The “gift’ is to be free from fleshly concern. To wait upon the Lord’s affairs with a grace to be unencumbered by familial or martial concerns. But what happens when you have both. Your personal service to the Lord is infiltrated by more thoughts of martial issues than waiting and serving the Lord’s affairs.

Personally I don’t think this is God’s best or by His design. I think He wants us to serve Him without worrying about family or marriage but with abandon. If you are so preoccupied with marriage and family perhaps you need more of God but perhaps you simply need to get married and ask God what the hold up is.

Singleness is not a gift if it turns your heart from GOD, you cannot contain or you aren’t ‘better’ for it. If you are a ‘worse’ Christian being single and not growing in godliness, discipline or holiness, perhaps GOD does intend for you to marry.I’m not talking about a tantrum because you can’t have what you desire, but if your solitude is not bringing you into a ‘productive’ place like Paul, I would question if indeed your singleness is a result of sin or perhaps disobedience. If marriage is the place where you will be more Christ-like I would think God would allow it.

However, just because God intends something for you, mean that it will happen. God has a plan, but we mess up that plan by our sin everyday. The question to ask is how did you get off track, and how can you get back on it. Sin has consequences and you will be judged for being a whoremonger or adulterer. (real talk) Still God grieves when we grieve, the loss of vitality, fruitfulness and family. So I personally don’t think you need to be feeling guilty about your grief in what God may not be doing in your life. He may be doing wonderful other things, even if marriage is not one of them.

So I hope this frees someone up from concern, we know our primary concern is heaven not earth, so if this doesn’t work out we always know there is hope for the next.