Are Demisexual Men a Joke to You, or are we Just Inconvenient?
As another Ace Week comes to pass, I want to reflect on how invisible I feel as a demisexual man in light of comments I’ve seen this week about demisexuality.
Sexuality is such a complex subject and yet even straight allies to the queer community still slip into the common mistakes of assuming harmful gendered stereotypes. For some people, the further down the LGBTQIA+ they go, the more their allyship depletes.
Even if you accept the A part of the equation (and sadly, far too many don’t), it’s in the nuances of being demi where many simply stop trying to understand.
Demisexuality? that’s just called “being a normal woman”.
Except, I’m not a woman, was not born into the body of a woman, and don’t identify as one now.
Briefly for newbies: demisexuality is an orientation where sexual attraction does not develop until you have a strong emotional bond. This is not the same as abstinence. Nor is it the same as deciding to wait to sleep with someone until you like them enough to feel comfortable getting naked in front of them. Both these things require an active choice. Demisexuals cannot resist feelings that we’re not having in the first place.
