I Am More Than My Sex Life

I am demisexual. I am also a person whose sexuality alone cannot define them.

An abstract oil painted background with sky blue, red, and yellow. In the center is a rectangle with black text against a light tan background which reads: “I am more than my sex life, by Elle Rose.”

I am more than my sex life.

So, so much more.

Asexuality and sex. Asexuality and if aces have sex. Asexuality and a sex drive, the spectrum of asexuality, the spectrum of different attitudes on sex… these are all important topics. I’ve written a lot about them already. I was driven to write them initially because my own experience didn’t fit what I read about and I couldn’t seem to find something that talked about the nuances. I found lots of people, but one collective source — I didn’t find that until later. I wanted to make one; I wanted to sort it out and write it down. So I did.

It seems often like we’re stuck in the topic, though — both inside and outside of the ace community.

It’s just… everywhere. Just about every article I read on demisexuality, or interview for, or write, I feel like I need to mention it somewhere to not exclude the diversity of experiences we can have and to talk about the act of sex. Not including this diversity in the expected VS the unexpected ace narrative is what caused people like myself to have a hard time accepting themselves and still does, and sex and sexual behavior and libido — that’s just one part of that equation. That’s not even factoring in things like your cultural background…