No! The “A” Doesn’t Stand for “Ally”
Why are we still having this conversation?
I felt a bit more seen this International Asexuality Day than past events. There were more positive discussions and more people proclaiming their allyship of those of us who experience little, limited, conditional, or no sexual attraction. It seems understanding of our experiences is increasing, and not before time.
I wonder whether this was driven in part by the work of Stonewall and Yasmin Benoit (who released a joint report late last year on the treatment of, and attitudes towards, asexual people in the UK).
But this debate about the meaning of the “A” in LGBTQIA+ comes up a lot. I saw it during Ace Week last year, I saw it on social media on Saturday, and I see it all the year round.
The “A” means people on the aspec: asexual (which includes demisexuals), aromantic (which includes demiromantics) and agender (people who class themselves as not having a gender, which is distinctly different from genderfluid, non-binary and other gendered identities).
Yet for some reason, there are people who insist that it stands for “allies”. Allies are important in any movement, especially when using their privilege to advocate for groups and so long as they aren’t seen as spokespeople for that group and end up speaking…
