What Does “Enthusiastic” Consent Mean, Anyway?
Because it seems to mean different things to different people
Note: The premise of this article is that I am a sex indifferent aspec who can rarely give enthusiastic consent. I’m discussing giving not seeking consent.
Imagine you have invited me to visit you at home. When I get there, you are brewing coffee for yourself and ask if I would like one. Actually, I had one before I left three hours ago, and got one for the road just over an hour ago when I stopped to stretch my legs and go to the little boy’s room.
I don’t actually know if I want a coffee. I am caffeinated, but your coffee smells good. That percolating sound of your coffee machine is slightly enticing. But if I’m honest, I don’t actually know if I’ll drink it. If you make me one, I may not drink much of it. I may want it until you’ve presented it to me and then decide I don’t want it. But if I say no, you may not ask again and twenty minutes from now I might feel that I really really really want a coffee. But if I say yes, please give me some of your lovely smelling coffee, I might not actually drink it because I don’t know if I want it.
This is how I feel much of the time about getting it on as a sex indifferent aspec. Indifference is my natural state, but it isn’t my only state — it’s…
