When You’re Old In a Young Space
Being the oldest person in an ace space has unique challenges
I really don’t like the thought of being a mentor.
Why the expectation that I serve as a mentor is problematic
In the ace community, I could be considered a mentor by default. I didn’t realize until my mid-40s that I was asexual, someone who experienced little to no sexual attraction to anyone. The main reason I discovered this aspect of myself so late in life is because the language to describe my experience didn’t really exist in my formative years. That was nine years ago.
This is not to say that asexuality just became a thing a decade or two ago. It has existed as long as humans have existed. However, the language to describe this experience has only developed very recently. As the asexuality experience in public discourse is relatively recent and not well understood, that means that the spaces I occupy for this identity are usually occupied by Millennials and Gen-Z. So, for an older Gen-Xer like me, I feel ancient as well as an interloper in this space.
Because I’m usually the oldest person in any ace space, there’s this unspoken expectation that I must serve as a mentor. This is problematic in a couple of ways. For one thing, the thought…
