F**k the Cup!
I am recovering from exhaustion. I am done pretending that I am not tired when I profess to others that “my energy is low.” No, it’s not; you’re tired! Ain’t nobody fooled by my word choice. I cannot Say It Write myself from the obvious.
This morning, as I eased into my day (a practice I am still developing discipline around) with black lavender tea, prayer, reading, and listening to Mama Nature, Tricia Hersey’s book Rest Is Resistance reminded me about the fallacy of the popular saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” If you’re unfamiliar with this phrase, here’s my translation; make sure you’re good so you can give to others. Bullshit!
I have repeated this well-intentioned saying to beloved friends (all Black women), clients, family, and colleagues as recently as a couple of weeks ago. I have also long believed that selfish is not necessarily a “bad” word. I unabashedly love myself and am in pursuit of reclaiming my time (thank you, Mama Rep. Maxine Waters), leaning into my integrity, clicking the refresh button on my boundaries, being more mindful, finding balance, and saying enthusiastic yeses.
I want to be full for myself and my aspirations, loving, dancing, impactful work, being, and the co-creation of a beautiful life. Boiling the water to fill and maintain my cup requires intentionality, time, rest, and clarity. If I am only filling up to be “in service to others,” how is that so-called self-care? It isn’t! I know compromise and sacrifice are real; however, this Black woman has no desire to be anybody’s martyr because I prioritized their needs and wants over mine. Nope!
I want your cup to be full for you first. Collectively, our energy and vibrancy can support and elevate others and change the world. We are all connected, and our liberation and joy are interwoven.
Let’s be good and thrive together. Fill your cup with whatever you want and drink up!
Black Writing Hood, aka Asandi S. Conner
©2023
