Bath Hell # s00e04

It was just a regular Saturday, I had just eaten my 7th meal of the day, diapers were pretty much clean and everything was pointing to a good night when my parents decided to ruin everything by giving me my first (and unforgettable) bath. Okay that my umbilical cord fell off three days earlier and that I had some of my own puke crust in my folds, but I really wasn't smelling that bad, so for God’s sake, let me be!

They prepared a whole ritual in the kitchen. Yes. Kitchen. Not even the bathroom. Little tub, soapy water, towels and the sacrificed virgin here. The worst part? They decided to make a video out of it! Seriously, who does that to their own daughter? I wonder if they record themselves in the shower and send to their friends. I bet they don’t. So why do that to me?

I’m not going to get into details about my bath, it’s private okay? I’m just going to say that those eight minutes took forever and I really hope it doesn't happen again. What’s next? Brush my gums?
Worst. Day. Of. My. Four. Weeks. Life. Ever.