Orders | tonight or never
They are rare to come by, now that this war is all I remember ever happening.
There are many still sleeping outside who should like a bed in here — No, no — I think you misunderstand. I meant that you are free to go if you like. But see how the scar tissue is still growing? Movement could open up the wound again. And your eye — at least let me replace the gauze before you go?
No, we have not received the laudanum and iodine that the company promised. These are dreadful mountains to scale for the poor bagmen, and some of the ice had not thawed yet from the bridges along the valley. Keep still now, this will only burn a little. And the water — there is a strain of dysentery going around the place. The closest streams have since been contaminated from all the fighting upstream. We were setting out the newly dead when the riverbank crumbled beneath our feet, and it was afterward that we realised we had been treading on a mass of half-buried frames washed down from the river mouth, all fabrics and bones barely covered by the thin deposits of mud. And the stench — but that is enough of us — we can bear what we must, our grievances only go so far.
What of the front-lines? No indeed there has been no news in at least three nights. Rumour goes that our young general attempted the crossing at low-tide and perished in that darkness. No, not drowned, but shot by a patrol off-duty. So that is how it is then? Well, some of the patients here are quite invested in the tale, but I am glad. They are rare to come by, now that this war is all I remember ever happening. There, that should keep the itching pain at bay for a while. But as to your sight… I am sorry, but there is nothing I can do.
Please give me a moment. I am sorry. No I insist. Don’t worry for me. Please lie down.
But how do I tell you? Look around us, Dimitri. There is nothing I can do. There is nothing we can do. I buried Polina five days ago, on the night when your company made the charge. Bright-eyed. Soft and warm and — Alive. Dimitri. She was alive. Now she lies rotting beneath the earth. And all for what? So that you can have your pains momentarily quelled, only to be returned to the front again?
Dearest, do you still remember Thebes? Those sweeping halls where we could escape to. Where the air hangs so still between the columns; when our own inhalations and exhalations felt like roving gales; when the rain really did fall, and you gave me your cape, and we sat with our feet over the walls, the rolling dunes below us — Did I startle you? Your leg is not yet ready to support your weight.
Let me check the records. Yes, tonight is the 17th. I will not burden you with anything. I dried your shirt yesterday with the other garments. Is this another night-crossing? Take my jacket — I hear thunder outside already. If that is how it must be, take this with you. It’s a little morphine I saved from an operation yesterday.
And Dimitri?
She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. But the company was already assembled in rank and file. His limping figure was lost in the forest of rifles. He didn’t even turn his head.
