The Midfielder | from the interviews
he looked at him and he said: “man.”
My old school used to have the best team in the city. Hey, I used to be a member of that team. Oh, I’m not tryina brag about ‘bout me past glory days. It’s just that what you’re sayin reminded me of this one bloke I met on the team.
You see, the seniors would always give us rookies a hard time…they just, y’know…they just make the rookies fetch balls and ride the bench. It was no big deal, but there was one kid who was always really odd and outta place. He was pale and as skinny as a beanpole. And what really buggered us was how he never really got involved with the team. I was bored one day, and started watchin ‘im, tryin my best to engage and hustle along. I soon noticed, that every time he handed a ball to a senior, he would sniff em discreetly. The strange fella then muttered something to himself.
After passing the ball to the first senior, he said: ‘Pork chops.”
At first I thought he was insulting em in his own weird way. And then there was this short little senior, who he smelled and said: “Milk.”
Milk? He wasn’t even that pale! Maybe he was tryin to insult the fella, sayin something ‘bout his height?
The he came face to face with one of the most popular guys, who also happened to be the richest kid on the team. Oh boy was that kid a cattywampus back then; as a junior, you either mess his goals and get whooped in the behind or you avoid him altogether. Anways, he looked at the bloke and he said: “Man.”
Huh! This shrimp was too much of a bloody coward to insult someone like that!
Then along came a seriously chubby senior, and he said: “Spinach.”
I’ll tell ya, the more I heard, the less I understood. Shouldn’t this senior be along the lines of a pork chop, too?
The next day, a big commotion erupted at our school. I didn’t know all the details, and I ain’t bluffing, but I think the police had arrested a sicko serial killer. The news terrified everyone, and a lot of my mates transferred. But who was the killer anyway?
Later my gossipy buddy told me that the only lead the police had was that the killer was mainly active near our school.
And because of the gross way he killed em, they hired someone with the peculiar ability to smell what people had eaten before. So they sent him to our school to investigate.
I instantly thought of that skinny kid watching everyone silently from the corner, and all the different dishes he uttered that day.
