Before you read this, I‘d love for you watch this video. It is a classic scene from Mind Your Language. It will set the context to what I am about to share in this post.
Alas! Times have changed. We don’t have such shows on tv anymore. We live in a day and age where the people we know — our friends, acquaintances, even our family members — may be of a different upbringing, from another country, a different culture, an opposite religion and in some cases with long, difficult, unpronounceable strange-sounding names. Do we take the time, pain and patience to get it right or do we create a version of the name that we find easier to say? I have seen both happen and in case of my own name more of the latter, unfortunately.
When someone gets my name wrong, I get really frustrated. Wouldn’t you? I think shows a lack of respect, carelessness and a bit of snobbishness on their part. The biggest culprits are the customer support reps I speak to on the phone, and getting our names right should be in their DNA.
Like most Asian Indian names, my full name is not so easy to pronounce if you arent of the same ethnic background (with the exception of my Middle Eastern friends who seem to have no trouble with it). For the rest, it takes some practice to get it right. It is a bit of a tongue twist for the untrained westerner. And my introductions are often received by a look of confusion, followed by the butchering of a name that my parents once proudly bestowed upon me. Finally, we compromise on a version that works and we move on. It’s the same story 9 out of 10 times.
One day at work, I bumped into the new Chief Operating Officer (COO) on his first day as he was on his office tour. I introduced myself. He listened intently and asked me to spell out my name. No one had ever asked me to do so before, and usually it is me who would volunteer to spell it out. I was amazed. He then continued on with his tour of the facility.
A week later he called for a company wide gathering to introduce himself to the organization. As the room filled up with employees walking in, I saw that he was already mingling with people. Soon enough he noticed me with my group of work friends, walked up to me and addressed me by my name. And then he said: “I practiced pronouncing your name many times. Did I get it right?”. He got it perfectly right. I was impressed.
With a simple act, the COO connected with me instantly and created a lasting impression. Since then I have taken great care to get names right. I remember a time when I had asked my friends to teach me how to pronounce the name of the person I was to introduce at my public speaking club, that I would’ve normally goofed up on. It was worth the effort.
So, what’s in a name? Why is it so important? It is best described in Robert K. Cooper’s book called “The Other 90%”. He says this about the greatness behind names:
Our names are not labels. They are the cover of a human story. Beneath and beyond the name, yet tied to it, is a unique person’s life, with love, loss, laughter, dreams, hardship, and some vast measure of still hidden possibilities. From the moment you meet another human being and first hear their name, no matter how brief the interaction, your story is touching theirs.
