3 ways to deal with a struggle
Being a first time Entrepreneur, I am learning leaps and bounds each day. It is almost like a spiritual journey for me of self discovery and learning how the world works. Apparently it is important to know this shit!
You ask why?
Cause you may be born alone and die alone, but you cannot live alone. And trust me when I say this cause I have tried doing it — Ain’t gonna happen!
No I have not lived like a caveman, in solitary, but I am pathetic at making friends, even worse at keeping them. I actually do not have any friends and who I think are my friends are in my head — I am positive!! So the only people in my life are my parents, spouse and in-laws (needless to say — the former two are 1–100 in priority order, 101 is in-laws, and the whole world comes thereafter — in the “I do not care” zone).
And your family, no matter how supportive and loving, can feed you all your life — but if you are anything like me — you cant be a dependent parasite, you will have to work, and to work you would think, being just a good worker will do — NOPE! NEVER!! (infact if you are a good worker, but not social, chances are you will get fired sooner) you will have to be good with people for more than 90 secs (I am not — think I made that quiet clear). So how do I keep my jobs?? I don't — I have been working for the past 13 years almost, have held 8 jobs and been fired or made redundant from all except 2 —( I have exceptional level of patience and zero self -respect!)
I finally figured, I must be un-employable and I should work for myself and that’s how my journey as a businessperson started…
Ok, so why the title — 3 ways to deal with a struggle?
Cause, what I wrote in 10 lines is the summary of 20 yrs of my life — and the struggles I have gone through were overwhelming for me…until recently — past 2 months actually — I had an epiphany..
There are 3 ways to deal with a struggle
- Fight it — this is what we hear all the time — overcome your challenges…keep at it…dont give up…perseverance is the answer…blah blah blah…I am sure it works for a lot of us, but dint work for me — It is exhausting to fight always (subtext — can the flight be more difficult for me cause I am whiny — Another moment of epiphany!! see I told ya — this entrepreneurial journey of mine is spiritual)..so I gave up, which is the 2nd way..
- Be the loser — well, no one wants to be one, but if you are unable to fight any longer you lose, if you are lazy you lose and quit the struggle — let go of things and find something else — a work around or alternative or distraction or you simply walk away from it..
- IGNORE — This one has been working for me quiet well! Allow me to elaborate..
I am super self critical and dont think highly of myself (losing jobs are not exactly moments of pride!), I suffer from low self confidence, inferiority complex — basically I think of myself to be a loser (although….well there is a lot of subtext here..will save this for later)
I had hit rock bottom last year — career wise- and thought the reason was cause I hit my mid -life crisis and mid-career crisis together — thus the HUGE impact…
so, anyway, when I finally decided to take the plunge and run my own business and be the entrepreneur I am now — what I had at the back of my mind was that I dont know how to do this — I dont have contacts, I will be in a foreign land, all alone, I am not even a subject matter expert of the business I am trying to run and to top it all, I am allergic to people — anti-social- not a smooth talker and certainly not smart — How on earth will I do this??
I (pushed by my family), put in all my saving, relocated to this new country and had exactly 3 months worth of savings…we decided we will sell our car and may be take out a loan and see if I can increase my stay for another 3 months before I have to renew my visa and extend my stay upon approval…
And I made a promise to myself — I will IGNORE all my inhibitions, obstacles as I see them, judgement about myself and will just do everything on earth — weather it is smart or stupid or normal — every activity and see if I can make it work in anyway…
And you know what within 2 months, I have signed 3 clients, have an okay pipeline and most days still dont see light at the end of the tunnel but I force myself to imagine it.
It isn’t easy — every day atleast once I go back to being the dark and twisted person who doubts everything about myself…but I am tuning my brain to snap out of the zone quickly and get moving..stop judging..sulking…overthinking and finding reason— just keep doing…you never know what will work and I will hit the jackpot.
Be a doer — ignore everything else!