A Limerick for 18.3 — The Young Man Named Jake
Some Open workouts are designed to steal your soul, but CrossFit 515’s Jake Pfeffer was determined to not let the rings steal his
Since I’m not physically competing in the 2018 CrossFit Games Open this year, I decided (with the help of my frenemy) to celebrate the Open in a completely different manner. Yes, I will certainly miss Superman vs. Lex Luthor (we will be back next year — mark my word — and there will even be T-shirts), but this season I have the opportunity to shine the light on others. Just like “Frederick,” by Leo Lionni, I am a poet and I know it. The plan is to write a poem for each week of the Open showcasing a particular athlete and their valiant efforts. Please enjoy this poem about 18.3…
There was an original ode, then there was a haiku, and now there is a limerick. In case you need a reminder, a limerick is a humorous and sometimes obscene poem consisting of 5 lines. Limericks follow a strict rhyme scheme of AABBA, in which the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. The first, second, and fifth lines have 7 to 10 syllables, while the third and fourth lines have 5 to 7 syllables. Perhaps the G.O.A.T. when it comes to limericks is none other than my boy, Edward Lear. Here’s a famous limerick of his about a man and a nose:
There was an Old Man with a nose,
Who said, ‘If you choose to suppose,
That my nose is too long,
You are certainly wrong!’
That remarkable Man with a nose.
Or this example about a man and his wife:
There was an Old Man of Peru,
Who watched his wife making a stew;
But once by mistake,
In a stove she did bake,
That unfortunate Man of Peru.
Piggybacking off of last week, here are several limericks, to commemorate 18.3 from the 2018 CrossFit Games Open.
“A Limerick for 18.3 — The Young Man Named Jake” by Eddie Mrowka
There was a Young Man from Grimes named Jake,
18.2 caused his heart to ache.
Humble pie he had been dealt,
Done with the Open he felt;
A sick taste in his mouth he couldn’t shake.Dave Castro again dressed in all black,
Would 18.3 cut Jake some slack?
The answer became quite clear,
As TDC gave that sneer;
18.3 slapped him with a whack.After the announcement, Jake was mad,
A movement he can’t do, well that’s bad.
How about the bar ones first,
But no, just my luck, I’m cursed;
Failing ring muscle-ups makes you sad.The Young Man named Jake made a plan though,
By Friday, he was ready, ya know.
It was time to own those rings,
No matter how many swings;
And determined to put on a show.His coach, Bobby Noyce, knew Jake was there,
With a little practice and a prayer;
That muscle-up may just come.
With his grip over his thumb,
Jake smiled wide as he soared through the air.After successfully getting three,
The Beatles were singing “Let It Be.”
With a strategy in place,
Think a warm-up, not a race;
18.3 let’s go, we’ll see.Bobby hoped Jake would stick to the plan,
Just don’t treat the first three like it’s Fran.
Shoulders will get really tired,
The design could get you mired;
Just do your thang, we all know you can.The gym atmosphere really brings it,
But what would you expect, it’s CrossFit.
Locked, loaded, and time to go,
Deliberately move slow,
For fourteen minutes, no time to quit.Overhead squats are really Jake’s jam,
Double-unders too he likes to slam.
First ring muscle-up he failed,
Perhaps I should have gone scaled;
Not a chance, negative thoughts you scram!As Jake got up there, the gym went wild,
Some loud cheers even came from my child.
What a moment in his life,
See the proud look on his wife;
Awesome indeed is putting it mild.24 hours ago he had none,
Seven in six minutes is a ton.
Impressive for a new skill,
Pfeffer gave us all a thrill;
Now Jake, celebrate and have some fun.There’s a rumor he won’t wash his hands,
Folks asking him to sign their wristbands.
He’s hoping 19.4,
Is 18.3 for sure;
So he knows exactly where he stands.There was a Young Man from Grimes named Jake,
18.3 meant beer and some cake.
Several slices he dealt,
Stick with the Open he felt;
Begged our gym to do the Harlem Shake.
