New Season of Celebrity Autopsy Off to a Slow Start

After it’s glorious 1st season in 2016, the hit reality show where dead celebrities are dissected on camera is off to a slow start, due to a disturbing lack of celebrity deaths.

“Sure, January wasn’t as tragic as we had hoped.” says Celebrity Autopsy producer, Michael Skinner. “But we are confident that this dry spell will pass, as all things do.”

Fans of the show report that they don’t believe the second season could ever live up to the first, airing last year.

“2016 was just a different time.” says internet meme enthusiast, Dave Stevens. “ Celebrities were dropping like flies and Celebrity Autopsy was the only show on TV that was better for it. But they peaked. There’s no way you can get better than David Bowie’s open chest on a cold slab.”

But those on the show are optimistic, stating that they believe the number of celebrity deaths will begin to rise again.

“No one lives forever, trust me.” says show pathologist, Dr. Francis Reynolds. “If there is one thing I understand better than anything, it’s the futility of life and the inevitability of death. Tune in next week.”

The network, however, seems to be not taking any chances. They are monitoring the conditions of 40 elderly celebrities, including Stan Lee and Betty White.

“We like to hedge our bets” said Skinner. After a moment he added, “But not like that!”