Science Shows that Donald Trump Actually Does have the “Best Words”
We all know that Donald Trump claims to have and be many things. “I know words. I have the best words.” But how can we know that Donald Trump’s words really are the best? With science, of course! Using the complicated algorithms laid out in this article I have managed to compile some data that proves, unquestionably, that Donald Trump does in fact “have the best words.”
First of all, what are words made of? Any alumni of a Sesame Street education can tell you that they’re made of letters. A, B, and even C often appear in words alongside nearly 23 other letters in different combinations. When we look at modern scientific methods, we can clearly see that these letters and letter combinations have assigned values.* With a simple equation we can determine the inherent value of any of Donald Trump’s words and phrases.
But now we are faced with a different question. Which words actually belong to Mr. Trump? To prove that his words are the best we have to determine which words are his. After watching several interviews and speeches, the answer became clear:
CHINA: C=6, H=1, I=53, Na=11. Giving China a score of 71. This is a classic Trump word. His use of it strikes fear into the hearts of racists all across America.
HUGE: H=1, U=92, Ge= 32. Giving Huge a huge score of 125. Really. This word is just terrific. It’s huge.
EXCUSE ME : Xe=54, C=6, U=92, Sm=62, I=53. That puts Excus Mi at the top with a whopping score of 267!! You’re excused, Mr. Trump!
Of course, with this system we see that any words have value. Therefore you could easily find a video of Hilary Clinton saying some big fancy word like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, or Bernie Sanders saying something like Antidisestablishmentarianism, and those words would have a higher score than any of Trump’s words. But those words do not belong to anyone. (maybe Julie Andrews) The key to this whole system is repetition. These words are Trump’s words because he says them louder and more often than anyone else. And with each repetition they gain value. So when Trump sticks to the same limited vocabulary, it’s not because he’s “stupid” or “uneducated” or “a joke” or “seriously just the worst” or “unfit to lead the country.” He’s just a brilliant businessman who understands the numerical value of what he says. He’s not just leading in the polls, he’s racking up points every time he opens his big dumb mouth.
