Some of My Stuff

A guide to some of the things I’ve published on Medium and elsewhere.

Jack Herlocker

Published in

The Writer Archives

11 min readJul 3, 2016

Photo by author. Copyright ©2016 by Jack Herlocker.

Conversations with My Wife

Jack Herlocker

Chats with Deb

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287 stories

Lessons & Observations

I Like Being Married

One weird guy’s experience being married to his best friend(s)

byrslf.co

Start With a Partnership

Romance is good, friendship is good, but a romantic relationship has got to be a working partnership

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Marriage Proposals — No Surprises!

Surprise flowers? Good! Surprise marriage proposals? Bad!

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Snapshots from Our Backyard

Staycationing and retirement-in-place

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I Wear a Mask Because…

I’m doing it for you. Whoever you are.

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Don’t Let Fear Steal Your Freedom!

And have a nice day! 🙂

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We Are Out a Bunch of Money

And it’s all your fault

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Spending More Time Alone, Together

Quarantine day number… y’know, I’m not sure it’s healthy to keep track of these things

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Life Thoughts During These Quiet Days

Observations from the field (but not the one that just had the manure spread in it)

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Spending Time Alone, Together

Trapped at home with my wife for weeks? Throw me in that briar patch!

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Self-Isolating, Self-Distancing, Self-Improving During the Pandemic of 2020

Or “Thursday,” as I prefer to call it

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Boomerang Joy

by Debra A Herlocker

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A Devotion for the Quarantined

Tonight we have a special guest…

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Escape from (Old) York

Enjoying a wild, madcap weekend that was actually just a Thursday night, in honor of our marriage being old enough to…

jherlocker.medium.com

Whatever You Guys Are Playing Is Great

Games with the family

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Draft of the Toast for My Ex-Wife’s Wedding

Because ex-husbands are expected to speak, right? Right?

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Pizza — Dough Moments and DOH! Moments

The journey, the search, the discovery

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Medium Writers I Enjoy

A subset of a larger circle

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“Who Told You That You Could Read That?”

There are books; there are banned books; and there are you-aren’t-old-enough-yet books

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Sounds and Vision

The calm water gives us

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Silence

Yup, in my world, there really are sounds to silence!

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100 Words on Me

So, retirement. Huh.

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Retirement Planning vs. Planning to Retire

What do I want to be after I grow up?

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10 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

With sharp glances at Violet DeTorres and James Finn for sucking me into this— I mean, cordially inviting me

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40 Things I Love

No surprises. Maybe…

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Q&A from D&J

More things about us you probably don’t care about

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Things I Learned from a Week at Disney World

It IS a small world, after all!

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The Great Secret

Make them happy, then check that it makes you happy

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Christmas 2019. Interesting?

Yeah, let’s go with “Interesting,” shall we?

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I Have Some Pretty Cool Stuff in My Life . . .

If I do say so myself

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MREs and Amish Zombies

MREs = Meals, Ready to Eat. AKA that guy with his back to the approaching zombie horde.

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Halloween at Work

What sort of clowns worked at YOUR job?

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Reflections on Instructions for My Funeral

First: ties optional

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The Christmas I Started Liking Christmas (Again)

Family Christmas is better with a new family

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My Name is Jack (Hi, Jack!) and I’m on Medium because…

It’s where my peeps are

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Make a Wish

Don’t tell me what it is yet…

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A lesbian and a straight guy walk into a bar…

In which a clueless socially-inept male gets no more clues or eptness

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Things My Yeoman Taught Me

Why Officers Need Handlers

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The voices in my head

I’m not crazy, just, um, multi-faceted

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Trapped in the Wreckage

Unable to move, couldn’t get free…

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Do you do weird and goofy things?

Of course you do, because everyone does weird and goofy things.

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Of Lifeboats and Bug-Out Bags

When I got engaged to my wife, Deb, it was not long after the movie Titanic came out. It had seemed to me that if Jack…

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I went in to kvetch and accidentally got my boss fired

The last thing I intended to do was stage a coup d’tat. Really. It just sort of worked out that way.

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I swear I will help fund these if they show up on Kickstarter

Seriously, somebody! Opportunity alert!

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A chat with my younger self

Things I would tell the me in high school—once I get done Gibbs-slapping him

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Normal is what normal is, not what people want.

Normal is a number. Not a social statement.

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Geeksplaining

It’s like mansplaining*, only… wait, let me put it in terms you’ll understand.

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The Gratitude Challenge

Five days × Three things = 15 grateful items

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Stacy Snyder and the Untruth That Won’t Die

“The Web Means the End of Forgetting,” but that doesn’t mean it remembers it right

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Imaginary Bugs and How to Eliminate Them

What do you do when your spouse thinks you’re infested with invisible bugs?

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Learning about Wasps

Turns out those things hurt! (Well, Duh, you say…)

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Anyways for the Damned

Just because you’re seriously screwed is no reason not to do your best

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Death is not an Option; Death is a Given

Timing and Pain are the Options

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Practical Joke in the Grocery Store

God has a strange sense of humor. But some of you probably knew that already.

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Why Your Kid is Not Invited to Your Cousin’s Wedding

Things I could have mentioned while you were on a rant, but didn’t, because it’s not like you listen anyway

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A Song for my Wife

Apologies to Johnny Mathis

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Snapshots of a back yard rebuilt - Medium

View the series Snapshots of a back yard rebuilt. Series are a new type of immersive, episodic story format.

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Heartspace — Pennsylvania Edition

Books are our friend. But Nature is, too.

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Ghost in the Projector?

What I got from being a church acolyte that has nothing to do with church

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Pictures from a Trip to Penn’s Cave

If you go spelunking, go by boat

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Death of a New Customer

A cold body in the cold snow on a cold day

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My Five Most Fan-Liked Medium Stories of 2020

If you observe closely, you will be no wiser than I am, probably

jherlocker.medium.com

Guilty Pleasure — Concoctions and Prococtions

The bread proof is in the bread pudding?

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This One Product Will Transform Your Toilet Problems

It’s dishwashing soap. (Oh, was I not supposed to mention that up front?)

jherlocker.medium.com

Gay Cardinals? A New Take.

Unless someone thought of this before? It’s kind of obvious, once you think about it.

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Poetry and such

Mr. Cardinal’s Breakfast Date

“Wait… is today when the eggs go in the nest?”

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Absence and Wishes

Fifty-odd hours until you get home

jherlocker.medium.com

Polycarbonate Caryatid

Women holding up the world

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Hands, and Streets, and Memories

I remember how You used to hold my hand when We walked along our street.

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Home

Home is…

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Remembrance in My Pocket

The reminder of the Worry Stone

jherlocker.medium.com

Star Fort

We have our own fortress in our home

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The Gift of Dad’s Arms

Hugs and love for COVID-19 and bad awful terrible days at work

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Poem for Your Birthday Card

For my wonderful Debster

jherlocker.medium.com

Blue Egg on Mulch

A six-word story

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First Snow for Small Creatures

Life can be hard when you’re young and little

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It’s Okay! They’re Ours!

January 20, 2021, and the sound of guns

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Rainbows Come in Different Colors

No, really!

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Immanuary

.

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Backyard Cruise to Nowhere

.

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Who Were You, Little Girl?

I dream…

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Sad Death in the Winter Cold

and a five-year-old

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What Is The River?

And what is it not?

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It’s the First of the Month

🐇🐇🐇

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Back to Bed

Response to Harper’s response to Tre’s “Nonet the Night” challenge

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The Tide Coming In

Focus on the pretty sunset, not the rising water

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Your Grandma’s Hands

.

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Dark… or Milk

.

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Pillow Talk — Together

No one but us, yet we whisper in the dark

psiloveyou.xyz

Her Again? Seriously?

Sorry, people, sorry, sorry…

psiloveyou.xyz

Your Smile

The light in my life

psiloveyou.xyz

Umm… You’re Welcome?

What was THAT about? (Not complaining. Just asking.)

psiloveyou.xyz

Hello, Mom, it’s me

Can you hear me…?

psiloveyou.xyz

Stardust in the Antarctic snow

“We are stardust, we are golden / We are caught in the devil’s bargain…”

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Lost

but not forgotten

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The Man in the Coat by the Wall

.

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The Beauty You Are Already

I could look at you all day, my love

psiloveyou.xyz

Summer as the Left Hand of Winter

I dream of endless Summers covered in snow like Life smothered in white…

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A Non-erotic But Nevertheless Romantic Poem for My Wife

On the occasion of my 60th birthday

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Goodnight, dear friend

Happy dreams in your long sleep

psiloveyou.xyz

The Darkness & The Silence

.

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18th Anniversary Card to My Wife

Whispers in the dark

psiloveyou.xyz

In the Card to My Wife on Our 19th Anniversary

.

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A Page In the Snow Book By Jack Herlocker

Footprints in the Snow

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It’s Okay

My wife doesn’t have cancer

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The Shadow of Herod

Blood on the bedclothes, blood on the stuffed animal, blood on the hands of the righteous

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Snow falling on a still waterway

In response to the prompt Snow by Zev

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Our Lights in the Darkness at Year’s End

Light up the world, Light up Medium

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1:52AM This Morning

She’s home again

psiloveyou.xyz

First Kiss

The date was…

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Drifting Dreaming While Awake

What have I connected to?

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Fairy Lights in the New Garden

These were NOT in the plans, dammit!

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Saturday Morning, 06:30

Happy Saturday!

psiloveyou.xyz

I wonder what there is to pick up on the streets of heaven?

As I walked along The streets of heaven, Across bricks of gold Swept clean and neat, I chanced to spy A smallish coin…

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Fallen Body, Imploded Heart

The momentary awfulness of what could have been

psiloveyou.xyz

Monday Mornings Need to Start Around 10AM

Dozing… Sliding from sleep… Slipping through consciousness… Acknowledging the radio alarm Just enough to cuddle up with…

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He Didn’t Do Anything

Why so serious?

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Love Can Be Asymmetric

Not identical does not mean unequal

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Just about to get into the car for the morning commute

I get lost In your hugs Sometimes.

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November 8, 2016

America Made Great Again!

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Where the Money Goes

A brief look at cost benefits

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Some Days are Better than Others

Some weeks, too

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To my wonderful wife

Love is missing you even when you’re still here

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Black & Yellow & Still

Haiku: encounter with a butterfly

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In Port, Coming Off the Midwatch

Winter storms at sea

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The panic reaction of an introvert in a crowd of not-strangers

I cannot be a chameleon in a crowd of plaid

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And so it ends; and so it begins; and so it goes

Exit one mother, left. Enter another mother, right.

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Valentines Card for My Wife

You didn’t fall for my looks Because you couldn’t see them by email (And there’s not much there anyway).

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Anniversary Note #17 for My Wife

Seventeen… a Prime Number for a Prime Lady

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When You’re Ready, Please Come Home

True love is missing someone even they’re with you

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High 68 with chance of afternoon showers

New graduate, in cap, robe, shorts, and flip-flops, Looking to the stands Where there should have been one more…

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Reflections while waiting for Carousel of Progress to start at Walt Disney World

Cyberspace is where you’re at when you’re on the phone. -John Perry Barlow

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Flower for a day

“Choose Your Bloom” Haiku Hub Poetry Prompt

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Scenes from a Civilian Airport in Wartime

“Thank you for your patience during the current state of emergency…”

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Your Christmas Heart

Imagination ready? 🎄🎅🏾🤶🏼🎁

jherlocker.medium.com

Holiday Meals with Family

On the four-season porch

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Power empaneled, each breaker brokers the lightning to light and animate the animus of residents in…

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Outlet of Power: stick a fork in it and you’re done.

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Carol

Six caroling forth their tidings of joy, while a seventh lends howls (but he’s a good boy!)

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Princess

Our amazing princess of style and grace, attending her coronation as queen for a day.

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Celebrate

Old Christmas things, new Christmas things, Mom’s Christmas things — placed in spots familiar and discovered as we…

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REGRET

I will always regret We never tried to make love In the back seat BEFORE we bought The damn hatchback!

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After the shatter happens

But what if…

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Monday Morning Foreboding

Which falls on a Tuesday this week

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Let’s Do the Time Warp (Again?)

Reflections on partying at a niece’s wedding reception

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Your soft hair, Your loving eyes, Your gentle tongue

And your cold nose

psiloveyou.xyz

Alice

A poem that accompanied an invitation to a date

psiloveyou.xyz

Gathering Words for the Long Goodbye

True love is missing someone even when they’re with you

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Our September

Preludes and promises (not always kept)

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Proud to Be a Librarian

To the tune of “Proud to be an American “

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Sad Death in the Winter Cold

and a five-year-old

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UPPERCASE — lowercase — CamelCase — BookcasE

Just making a briefcase… sorry, a brief case…

hinged.press

A Morning Walk Without You

“Cloudy today, with temps in the 40s”

jherlocker.medium.com

People

How I Met Your Great-Aunt on Your Mother’s Side

A little romantic family history, Part 1

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At times my wife is one sexy lady

Eligibility for AARP notwithstanding

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Dinner with my wives

Mrs. Herlocker, meet Mrs. Herlocker! (Or Ms. Herlocker, meet Dr. Herlocker… whatever.)

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A note to my friend Beth, who I want to start writing again

Give Medium a try; who knows, you might like it

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Final conversation with my mother-in-law

In memory of Rose Tanguy, April 15, 1931–April 28, 2016

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Scenes with Our Cat, Coriander

Coriander loved everybody. Sometimes they went away, but sometimes they came back. It was all good.

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Memories of Bradley

James “Brad” McGee, 57, of Rye and Boca Raton, Fla., died Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2015, in a fatal plane accident off the…

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Lies, Damn Lies, and Exes

“Along with all that I hereby confess / I’m learning how to live on / Love and Forgiveness”

psiloveyou.xyz

Review of Ask Me About My Uterus, by Abby Norman

A quest to make doctors believe in women’s pain

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20 Things I’ve Learned In 60 Years

or “What I’d Warn Everybody Younger Than Me About,” by Dr. Linda Herlocker, EdD

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My Mother — A Story from My Youth

Mom was a sweetie and a tiger and your best bud and your worst-nightmare drill sergeant, and she could change on a…

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My father hated me for the rest of his life (when he knew who I was)

Stealing a car for the right reasons

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A Snapshot of Two Ministers… With Hugs

I had good in-laws

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The Year I Lost Both Mothers

In response to Dennett and Harry Hogg ‘Be Open’ 100 word prompts

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Pure Fiction

Nerd Romance — The Collection

So you can start at the beginning, go to the end, and stop. Eventually.

jherlocker.medium.com

The Good Ones Think You Are Beautiful

Especially those times when you are not

jherlocker.medium.com

Happy High School Days

Guaranteed or your money refunded (less preparation fees and consumables)

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Happy High School Days (take 2)

“Ever wondered how things might have turned out, if only…”

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Best Served Cold… and Sharp

Can revenge become justice?

hinged.press

Formula Comes in Bottles, Beer Comes in Cans

Or is it the other way around? Asking for a friend who can’t talk yet

jherlocker.medium.com

Scene: A Bedroom. Early Morning.

Fiction Friday

psiloveyou.xyz

“8 Great Ways to Have That Perfect Date!”

“#3: Have a memorable greeting”

psiloveyou.xyz

Next, they took my sanity

Prompt piece for Write or Die project

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Talking to the Ghosts

Revenants in the digital age

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Conversational Fragments with a Digital Assistant

“Please speak or enter your password, or provide biometric authentication.”

psiloveyou.xyz

The Sorting of the Pills

The yellow ones, the blue ones, the white ones, the yellow ones…

psiloveyou.xyz

The Scarf

by Jack Herlocker

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Why the lead character in my short story started as a hard-as-nails bitch

And why she had to stay that way through several revision

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Strangers on a train of thought

Whispers in the dark web

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A Few Minutes with Charlie the Goose

And his friend Myrtle

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