That thing about Sugar

Here’s the thing about stealing sugar.

You’ve got to do it right.
You’ve got to do it clean.
Most importantly, you have got to leave absolutely no traces. 
No one teaches these things to you. You learn them the hard way.

He crept out of his room slowly and stealthy like his favorite tv ninja. That’s what he wanted to be — a ninja. His friends from school didn’t believe him but Big Brother said he’d have to go to China to learn it. Big Brother said it’d take many, many years and it was difficult. But he was a man, like Daddy said. He’ll ask Daddy to take him to China when next he leaves the house and then he will learn from those powerful ninja and then he will come back to school and show all his friends and he will —


He almost jumped out of his skin, eyes quickly darting about for any signs of Mommy. Nothing moved. 
Stuuupid kitchen door. He had to stop himself from kicking the stupid thing. Rubbish. 
He planted one foot into the kitchen and peeped. No one there. 
The coast was clear.
Now for the final part.
He quietly tiptoed to the freezer and lifted the lid, slowly so that the cover wouldn’t make noise. This is how that american ninja would do it. Silent and sneaky and — whoops! He almost tipped the sugar jar from the left side of the freezer and it almost fell to the bottom. Infact, he had caught it before it fell. Action man! Those ninjas in China will definitely choose him now that he had skill. He bet he could even blastscatter them. He was the bestest ninja in the world right now. Ghen ghen!
He dipped two fingers for a scoop and threw the sugar into his mouth. Oh, that sweeeeet divine taste. Big sister used to say sugar came from heaven, that it was God’s way of rewarding his children for being good boys and girls. He went in for another. Then another. And another.
Okay, one last one, then he’d be done.
Aaaaaaaaahhhh, sweet satisfaction swept his body. He savored it and….he had to get back to bed before Mommy wakes up. He tiptoed his way back to his room, climbed into his bed and, before long, he was asleep with a smile across his lips. Life was good.


He bolted upright, and opened his eyes to see stars. These stars were beautiful and sparkly. These stars were — wait a minute, how was he seeing stars? He was inside and on his bed and his face…his face felt like it was on fire. He wanted to turn around and then he heard that sound again.


Instantly, His vision cleared. Now he understood. Mommy was in the room and holding an empty sugar jar. 
Mommy knew. 
He was in trouble now.
“How many times have I warned you not to be taking sugar?! Don’t you used to hear word?!”, Mommy roared. He never liked her when she was like this and she seemed to get like this a lot these days.

“Bu — but, but, Mummy i didn’t do anything now, I just — ”


She landed another one across his face. He could almost tell that her handprint had already made its mark there. He couldn’t stay here any more. He couldn’t take any more of Mommy’s backhand. He had to be a ninja. He had to run.

So he bolted and ran as fast as he could. But Mommy was running with him. He ran with all his strength. 
Just a few steps more…just a little bit more…and he saw it. 
The staircase. His salvation. 
If he ran, he might skip and tumble but if he jumped, with his ninja skills, maybe Mummy won’t catch him and he can call Daddy to save him.
He feigned right then did a hard left just like he watched on TV. Mummy missed and fell down. He ran to the stairs and jumped. It was a good jump. He could feel himself fly. Those ninjas in China would be proud to have him as a student. His ninja skill will save him today. He would tell Daddy and even show him how —


Something hit him hard on his back. He could feel the pain growing, like those ugly black things that grow on people’s skin in the cartoons that Big Brother watches. He turned in mid-air and — MOMMY?! Mummy was ninja too?! How could this be? When? How did she learn to fly? He couldn’t finish his thoughts before he hit the ground hard and tumbled to heap. Mommy landed beside him and hit him again. It hurt. A lot. It hurt so much that he did the one thing that ninjas never do.

He started crying.

But Mommy hit him again and before his screams could escape his mouth, she said “If i hear peem!” He automatically used his hands to hold his lips shut. Tears were running races down his face. If only he was a better ninja. If only..

“What’s going on down there?”

Daddy! Finally!! Daddy had gotten up to come and rescue him.

“Nothing is happening!”, Mommy yelled back.

“Oh, Okay”. Daddy seemed to say something he couldn’t understand. Then he shook his head and turned back to go to his room.

And then he knew, tonight, he was doomed.

This is my first foray into short-form fiction. Thanks to Eketi Ette giving it a look over and telling me my english has a 65.4292042103% chance of being shit. :P 
Also, if you’re an english nerd and you notice my words are out of wack please don’t hesitate to point them out. However, do bear in mind that I was trying to capture the linguistic state of an 11 year old child. Got it? Thank you.
Finally, the usual: Recommend if you enjoyed this piece, subscribe if you wanna get more updates and send in your short-form fics too. All are welcome here.