The Gift of Presence

Presence is a beautiful gift.

Our world is changing quickly. Things seem to be moving faster than ever. And faster than ever it seems our lives can change — in an instant. Of course this has always been the case, but it seems that with all the world happenings we are being confronted with this each day.

And for me this means that being Present is of the utmost importance.

Presence is something only we have control over. No one can take it away from us.

It can certainly can be a gift to another person in the frantic pace of our world these days.

It’s not the norm to be in our full presence when interacting with others.

So often we are doing something else — whether that is actually doing another task or simply thinking about something else, even the next thing we are going say.

Another way Presence is a gift is to ourselves.

How often are you fully present in what you are doing or feeling — not trying to figure it out or change it, but simply being with it?

It can be tempting to rush past an uncomfortable feeling or try to get through a challenging situation.

Sometimes it feels too painful to be present — to feel the emotion that most wants to be felt in the moment. And so in that moment, we numb or react or shut down. Somehow doing those things feels easier than staying present.

But that’s the thing…not staying present comes at such a price.

When we aren’t present, it can be easy to miss what is really happening — with someone else or with ourselves.

We jump to conclusions or are quick to steer a conversation or a thought. We lose the opportunity to truly see, know and feel what is really going on.

There’s a richness that is lost. There’s a depth that is lost. There is great learning that is lost.

Being Present allows for a deep connection — with the truth of the moment, whatever that may be. The Story of Presence gives an example of a journey with Presence — its power.

When we allow ourselves to stay present, we can make new discoveries and gain new understandings about who we are and want to be moving forward.

I’ve always understood that Presence is one of the gems of coaching.

People aren’t used to simply being listened to — truly listened to, without judgment or agenda.

When I’m coaching a client — my full attention on them and whatever they want to share — they feel seen and heard. With this in place, more and more they can connect with what’s inside — hearing the knowing, wisdom and truth within.

As they connect with this, more of themselves can be expressed.

I’ve become adept at being present when coaching — listening to the spoken and unspoken words and asking questions to support clients in becoming Present to themselves.

However, I can sometimes I forget about Presence in other situations.

I get caught up in details — in finding a solution, completing a task, proving a point — to myself or someone else. When this happens things feel jumbled and confusing.

I know, then, that’s it’s time to take a step back and remember Presence.

When we forget about Presence, we’re relying on the wrong things.

We think it’s important to have the right words, the right solution, the right answer.

Instead, it’s important to stay in our Presence — to stay in that state of knowing, listening and truth — for another and for oneself.

It’s not the perfect solution that will enable us to become present. Instead, it’s Presence that will enable us to connect with the perfect solution.

As we connect with Presence, we align with ourselves.

We feel more confident and assured.

We realize we have everything we need in situations as they arise.

Instead of waiting for external situations to be perfect, we use Presence to be in the perfection of the external situations — whatever they may be.

This week, you’re invited to explore and play with Presence. Whether it’s something you’re used to thinking about or not, spend some time experimenting with it. Notice what it feels like for you to be truly present — with another and with yourself. Notice what’s it’s like when you give and/or receive the gift of Presence.

A version of this article was written as a blogpost in September 2016.

Mood Lady images drawn by Debra Valentino