Whose Version of Success Are You Living?
I can remember when I first realized that Success was something I could define for myself.
Until that time, which happened to be in my 40s, I had always been living some other version — one I’d heard others talk about. One I’d seen on TV or in the movies — filled with things that actually didn’t mean so much to me.
It took some honoring those things for me to realize that actually they weren’t the things I valued so much at all.
Read more about my own story of how I learned to define the concept of Success for myself here.
One of the things I’ve heard most often in my coaching when people begin the process is the fear of failure.
Most often people come to me in the midst of wanting to make a change — in their career, relationship, health or in life in general.
They often feel stuck. And they feel stuck because there is a fear of taking action or not taking an action. In their minds, they have decided that if they do something or if they don’t, they might fail.
This is such a rich area to explore and I’m always ready to open the doors of exploration with them by asking: How do you define Success? and What is “failure” to you?
Just asking the questions can be liberating as so often we have some external definition/s of these concepts that we are adhering to without even knowing it. I know I did.
Do you have your own definition of Success? And if so, how often do you revisit it to make sure it still holds true for you where you are right now?
One of my favorite activities when I speak to groups and/or even with individual clients, is to ask them to identify 5 individual words that mean Success for them (you can do this exercise with lots of concepts; Success is one of my favorites).
No phrases allowed. Just 5 separate words — like wealth, freedom, happiness, family etc. Go ahead, try it now.
What did you come up with?
From these words, you can string this into a definition if you don’t have one yet. Then, you get to check in to see how much you are living these words and/or definition. S
o if for you, happiness is a part of your Success formula, what do you do daily that connects you with joy and happiness?
So many times, we are filling our days in an attempt to get something in the long term.
But when we’re able to tune into our ‘success’ elements on a daily basis, we can begin living our Success now, instead of waiting until some day in the future when everything aligns.
Your invitation this week is to take your 5 words and/or that definition and notice how, if and when you are honoring them.
If this is new to you, start small.
Pick just one of the words and notice if and when your activities, routines, conversations, thoughts, actions reinforce or go against it. No judgment allowed.
You’re just paying more attention and seeing what you can do to begin living your success — whatever success means for you — one day at a time.
This article was adapted from a blog post published in September 2016.
Mood Lady images drawn by Debra Valentino
