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10 Sure Signs You’re Making The Right Decisions

Throughout my life, I have struggled with one thing… Indecisiveness. There are a variety of different influences that make us all susceptible to this pretty tough personality trait, but one of the main reasons is we all have a fear of making the “wrong” choice or changing in the “wrong” ways. But recently I came across a quote that said, “All change is good change” and though I have my qualms with the complete validity of this quote, I am certain that the core concept is very true. Complacency is death, and change is movement, so change must be good… Right?

It’s our fear of making the wrong move that often makes us freeze in place. Whether that’s a job we have never really liked, a relationship that we don’t feel fulfilled or that we’re growing, and even keeping negative people in our lives simply because the idea of letting things go makes us freeze in place.

The short answer is a resounding YES! Change is so good for us! Deciding to rebrand, change old habits, and even distancing ourselves from people that have negative influences on us is a very good and healthy thing to do. Interestingly enough, we think the scary part is simply making those choices, those life-changing decisions. But what I have learned through my own personal experiences is that often time it’s the after-effects of our choices that make us question things the most.

I haven’t been on the earth all that long (about 25 years) and throughout my life, I have already felt the paralyzing fear of indecisiveness. First I couldn’t decide where I wanted to go to college, what I wanted to study, who I wanted to date, who I wanted to marry (when our relationship started growing in that direction), if I even wanted to get married, and of course what I wanted to do with my life after school. I grew up in a very conservative, loving, and connected home. We are a family of “authorities” as I like to call ourselves, where so many of us feel justified and qualified in loudly stating our opinions and advice to our other family members. I love my family so much, but sometimes I worry that our family dynamic has led to many of us being unable to make decisions confidently. Though my parents often urged us to make our own decisions, there always was an underlying “but you should do what we told you” feeling to each experience.

It wasn’t until I was nearing the end of time at college that I had a realization.

Our reality is heavily dependent, if not completely dependent, on our perception. If you believe something is good, it’s going to be good. If you believe it’s bad, it’s going to be bad. If you perceive your parents, friends, significant others advice is gospel, it will become gospel. The dangerous aspect of this is that if you believe the choices you are making are “wrong” or that the change you experience is “bad” it can become those very things.

This leads us often to completely second guess ourselves, lose our confidence, and can shed some light on why many people especially within my generation are terrified of making choices, whether big or small.

Our perception has such a strong influence on how we feel, how we think, and what we do. With that, it’s important to remember that your perception can be biased, and heavily influenced by the words of others. Though these people often mean the very best and truly want us to be happy, sometimes these loud voices can drown out our self-confidence, and that assurance that we’re doing okay.

That’s why phrases such as “I’m proud of you” or “You look so good!” are such empowering statements. These statements validate our current perception of our reality and make us feel sure that we’re living the right way for us. It wasn’t until I heard my parents say these words to me that I felt validated that I was doing the right thing with my life, no matter how complicated or unorthodox it may seem.

So I began thinking about a way for people to look at their current perception, and be “self-validated” that they really are doing okay! So many of us constantly feel inadequate, behind, or that we’re simply not enough. We feel like our life choices have left us stuck and stranded in our current state of life, and that it was our “unlucky” choices that brought us to this point in life. As I started thinking about all the different feelings I experienced before and after making “large” life decisions, I decided to create a list that would remind us that we are enough, we’re making the right choices, and we are right on time with our path in life.

1. You’re going to be at least a little scared. Fear is a common, and very normal feeling before making any decision. Just because you feel scared does not mean that you are making the wrong decision. More often than not, it’s a sign you are in fact making the RIGHT decision because that fear is going to push you to grow. Like being dropped into the deep end of the pool, that feeling of sink or swim can often yield the best and long-lasting results. So embrace the fear. Welcome it. Don’t let it stay, but realize that this is normal.
2. The loud voices will start sounding. People don’t want to see you change. We all love routine, and many people, though their intentions are entirely pure 90 percent of the time, want their friends and family to stay the same too. They want to be on the same or higher level than you at all times. So when the voices start surrounding saying what you “should” or “shouldn’t” do, realize you are probably taking some very much needed steps in the right direction.
3. You’re going to feel uncomfortable. Whether that’s starting a new job, leaving a relationship, or questioning your beliefs, it’s going to be uncomfortable. Cognitive dissonance is a very real effect of changing, but cognitive dissonance does mean the change is negative. It just means you are breaking away from some very engrained mindsets and things that are a part of your current perception. But oftentimes like a plane rising above the clouds, you have to break through the turbulence and that discomfort to reach your higher plane.
4. You’re going to question yourself. Simply put, you’re going to think at least a few times that you’re making the wrong choice. Listen to that inner voice, but remember that the voice speaking to you is based on your current perception of your reality, not necessarily where you want to go.
5. You’re going to feel your confidence grow. Taking the reins of your own life BOOSTS your confidence, and reminds you that you are capable of so much good in your life and others.
6. You’re going to make new and wonderful friends. The confidence you will begin to build can only bring new people into your life, and it’s so important to welcome these new people into your world. Treasure the memories and lessons learned with those that are leaving, and welcome in the new.
7. You’ll find yourself making more and more decisions more quickly. Once the ball begins to roll, you’ll begin to feel your confidence in simply deciding and making choices growing.
8. You’re going to feel much happier.
9. You’re going to realize that decision HAD to be made, and you can’t imagine what your life would have looked like if you would have made the other choice.
10. You’re going to love your new reality.

— Devin J

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