17 Examples Of Absurd And Ridiculous Situations That Ignite My Anxiety, And 4 Ways I Put Out The Fire

The idea for this article came to me when I read Nicole describe her strategy of using analog photography to manage her anxiety. The title caught my eye because as an amateur photographer starting in 1980, that was my only option. The advent of digital photography is a fabulous discovery and today all those digitized photos reside in the Google cloud.

The title is interesting, but what kept me reading was our analogous battle against anxiety. I too have my strategies, so I searched in my journal for stories, not too intimate, but still personal, my real life to share.

I’m too restless to sit down, breathing rapidly, stomach churning, limited reasoning; those are my unpleasant anxiety symptoms, as rain, wind, and darkness are signs of a storm. It’s my inner turmoil. I’ve always been anxious, since my earliest memories more than fifty years ago. There is no cure and I manage it, patiently, day after day. I experiment until I calm down. I face it, while my being asks to be away. I know what usually works for me, but I don’t always have the time, money, or place to implement, so I do my best to control my trembling knees, stroking what’s left of my hair, my inability to stand still.

My anxiety hasn’t reached the point of being unwieldy and require mental help (I say that, but I don’t think everybody around me agrees), but it doesn’t take away its annoyance, surprise, and lack of a rational explanation. And that makes me anxious. Feedback is a bitch. I defend myself and call upon my frontal lobe reason to break the feedback loop. I stop and wait if I can. I put it on the page and try to figure out the root cause and to leave her there, moving it from the unconscious to the conscious, the page, and then ignored.

I recognize, however, that restlessness wakes me up and gets me out of bed every morning. And it’s my conscious self who tries to take control, directing that impulse into some benefit.

Without further ado, here I present my humble guide: Four actions I take to quell the red coal of anxiety and mini-stories from my real life to share.

I write down how I feel

1. My anxiety is always present, constantly looking over my shoulder. This time it’s scolding me for writing instead of working on my projects. But I don’t want to lose the daily habit of meeting myself on the page, even if it’s only a little bit every day. And when I can’t it’s because I’m stuffed with work or placed my efforts elsewhere with the intent to publish.

2.I had a revelation if you can call it that. One of my anxieties is caused by already being set and used to live in the continental United States.

And how is that? As it turns out, I unconsciously ask myself; How can I acquire a sense of belonging? Because I don’t feel it. After seven — almost eight — years of living here I don’t have a local anchor nor plan to. It’s like a never-ending vacation, with work, but nothing else, like visiting. Eventually, I’ll be without health or money. I don’t know which will be first and both possibilities terrify me. But I’ll do what I always do, un-think and deal with whatever comes. I’m not totally ignorant. I’m resolved to lower debt but have no idea on the best way to do it.

3.I need to write every day without taking count of how many words. If I turn it into a competition, I lose the pleasure of doing it. It’s enough to feel anxious every day writing job applications, or responding to job opportunities, or monitoring new job opportunities.

These three activities require full concentration and moderation in what I write. Do I want to bring that into my writing life too? I want to feel free and without censure. I censor what I publish, a reflection of my introversion, outer calm, and quiet personality. But still, what I publish has to be who I am.

4.It’s almost nine o’clock at night and I still want to write. I have good, bad, and so-so days. Today was so-so, yesterday was bad. Last week I had a good one, I believe, I don’t remember exactly. I’m saving “a great day” for a job offer.

If someone asked me right now, any offer would be good. Whatever or wherever, and it still be a great day. If I apply what little I know about Buddhist philosophy I would stop, meditate, and not create a story (This or that will happen if I accept or not), talk calmly with L, think about my core values and make a decision.

I shouldn’t even think about it, but writing relieves my anxiety. It’s like when writing I’m giving myself permission to forget. I let the worries pass without judgment or emotion. I am present to recognize and record, but nothing else. Write it down and that’s it. And face the next thoughts that ignite my anxiety.

5. I’m hungry, hungry to write and I’m still not satisfied. I should be making plans to go to bed, get away from this screen and its blue radiation, but I have an uneasiness … that threatens to turn into anxiety.

Sunday is a good day to write, and the cold, cloudiness and calm were inspiring. But somehow time passed too quickly. Reading the newspaper with yesterday’s news and nothing of local interest, with pancakes for breakfast because they take time I don’t have Monday through Friday. To indulge my inner manager I had to do something productive and necessary, so I cleaned the toilets.

I exercised on an elliptical machine, arms and legs in sync, stimulated by rock music through my headphones. An invigorating half hour that should be a daily habit so ingrained in me as reading the daily news. Without realizing it, and after talking to A, it was time to pick up the week’s groceries and on my way stop at the post office. Unhurriedly with most premeditation, I added a late takeout lunch from Panera and 45 minutes went by. And Sunday lunch without TV? So I tuned into a movie and it became five in the afternoon.

My day went by without sitting down to write. So now, at fifteen minutes to ten at night, I’m still writing because the hunger won’t go away.

6.With agitated breathing, wandering negative thoughts, I look at the clock for the umpteenth time … and is it only nine and seven minutes? I have anxiety, those are my symptoms. When my job is my purpose, but I draw a blank on what to do at this time?. And I’ve been reading so far, trying to escape that anxiety. Reading about people with dementia and people who made money in a way they didn’t expect, and maybe I could do it too. Am I where I should be, doing what I’m supposed to do?

I decide

7.My anxiety is on fire, as I ponder about the multiple options and the activities I should be performing but find unable to decide. Just writing and writing in my journal will not lead me anywhere if I don’t actively share what I write. Then I get into the dilemma: What to share? Because my daily life for sure ain’t worth it. Free to choose among so many other options out in this world, why choose me?

8. Agitation, restlessness, and anxiety penetrated my consciousness after reading the quote “What’s meant to be will always find a way”.

Only if you believe in fate. I don’t know what else to think. I no longer make plans beyond a month, as I’m driven by immediate desires. It’s my answer to a food craving or travel itch. Or buying a Lego set. Saying yes, when I should say no, or no when it should be yes. To choose between the nebulous and uncertain future or the diaphanous and immediate present.

As much as I love a road trip and exploring, saying no to my son’s invitation to spend New Year’s Eve in Orlando was tough. But it was too much spending. Too many hours on the road (flying cost way out of reasonableness), for just two days. Tickets to Universal Studios and Disney World. Food expenses. Buying clothes. I have to be strong and think “pa’lante” as it’s the best under present circumstances.

9. My anxiety looks over to me with ugly red burning coal eyes when I have to decide how to manage my time and find the motivation to do so. I’m now motivated to write an essay about teamwork. On the other hand, is not a subject in line with the publications that have accepted me in Medium. That’s a detail to think about, and not simply copy or repeat stuff I gather from other sources.

I do what I have to do

10. My own words are saying “fuck you” when I’m in Cantrell Auto Service again. Having chosen this place last week to repair a tire flippantly losing air, while in the waiting room I wrote in my journal wishing not to return despite the excellent service, because, like visiting the dentist, who likes to take the car for repairs?.

This time it’s the battery and I don’t know to call “good luck” the fact that when I tried to turn-on my car Sunday afternoon it refused to do so. Desperate and anxious, after an hour I got help and immediately went to get a replacement, but it was too late in the day. Had it happened today, Monday, with a 10 AM work meeting, my anxiety would be much worse, a danger to society (joking). I arrived sharp at opening time, 7:30 am; here, today, now, at least I think I can get to work and arrive on time to the meeting.

11.I’m anxious, waiting for my medical expenses statement to come in the mail. I have a new health plan and the first bills are due to arrive. I won’t be calm until I can see the cost of the recent appointments. But it must be done, it’s one of those things “pay now or else, later will be worse” but I’ve always been terrible in choosing between those two options, doing nothing, waiting to see what happens. Perhaps now it’ll be different.

12.With my current job, I have enough activities to feel useful and productive without feeling overwhelmed. Anxiety burns me like a whip on my back when confronted with immediate tasks involving many people. I know I have to be assertive, but how do I do it without seeming presumptuous, not sure of what to ask, or asking it be done immediately when it may wait. That’s the conundrum.

13. The hunt begins today!. Hunting for houses to rent. Rentals are elusive, hidden in a large area with thousands of inhabitants where only with patience and perseverance can they be perceived. Online listings are shit, with most already out-of-the market when I called. They hide among their peers, with small cues that reveal their availability. And once you find one, you’ve yet to call its owner or manager, inspect, compare, negotiate, and submit a request, before I can finally make it mine.

It’s a collaborative effort, where my desires are subjected to the wishes of L. My role is to provide an anchor to our economic reality, pushing for a decision, and acting on what’s decided without hesitation. Obviously, I don’t expect success on the first day, patience is the emotion that must prevail in this hunt.

Anxiety must be kept without oxygen, suppressed, and excitement, while necessary, shouldn’t be let go unbridled. Helping to act promptly, but without clouding the rational mind. Silly words for what promises to be a difficult day. How do I feel?. Optimistic, but cautious. Praying for luck, I know I’ve got much to thank for that. I need the patience to control the desperation that may appear.

We carry provisions; water and peanuts. Money, gasoline, and GPS are indispensable tools. At 4 and a half in the afternoon, we are back at the hotel. L has her selection, and of course, as always, it’s the most expensive house. Absolutely not will I pay $ 1800, will offer $ 1500, and stop at $ 1600. I prefer the new house with four bedrooms for $ 1600 but will deal with L’s selection because if she likes it everything else will be much easier. It’s to deal with the burden I have to carry, without going to ridiculous extremes to always please her. If it weren’t for the windowless kitchen and having to buy a fridge, I’d be as excited as she.

14. Nothing like exercise as a natural way to quell anxiety and induce calm. At least it worked today after giving half hour of my time to the elliptical exercise machine. Why not every day? Because the mental friction to prepare and take that half hour out of my precious “schedule” (Ha ha) is like scraping my knees in concrete after a high-speed fall. Excuses and procrastination, I know. But it’s my rational mind interpretation to excuse something I should do every day.

Acceptance

15. When I start my workday reading Slate, it means there’s nothing urgent to do. On the contrary, I have to think what to do. Proactive, not reactive, is my motto. I haven’t been able to implement any good advice from Caroline Webb’s book on productivity tips for executives (if I become one someday), How To Have A Good Day, describing good practices for the super busy (I’m not there yet, either) and anxious (that I am, of course). And I get anxious thinking I’m not super busy, as in the fabulous book stories.

16. It’s Tuesday, the week looks good. No inner turmoil to write about, anxiety or grief. Stop, let me correct that. There’s an inner turmoil, anxiety, and grief if I start thinking carefully. Nothing immediate, but there are. What happens is that I don’t wish to know.

With my attitude to be present and positive, I’m ignoring the future, but also afraid of what might happen if I don’t have my future in mind. The conflict between spending money and saving money. Between looking good and having the things I want now, while I can afford them. Or saving money for the next need, whether medical expenses, job loss or an accident. An anxiety that time goes on and I can’t see a future of growth or full of promises.

I achieved my dream of working in the continental United States for a major IT company. Earning a sack of money, while never my main purpose, I saw as possible. It’s time to get it out of my head. It’s time to change my definition of success to the ability to sustain good communications and positive relationships with our children and our parents, now divided between Arkansas and Puerto Rico.

My new job is what I expected, for now. It’s driving for results and facilitating communication, inserting urgency into projects when needed. Making sure THE process is followed and deliverables are fulfilled on time. I see challenges and growth. I must accept anxious moments but without despair. I must find the time to think and write.

17. After nine painful months, the long-awaited job offer arrived. Arrived alone, no one else wants me, I have no other to compare it with, so I don’t hesitate in my acceptance. It’ll be a painful change to move away, a 3-hour drive from what has been our home for the past six and a half years. I feel happy, but even more in peace. There is a sense of relief, of acceptance.

This is no time to worry or get anxious. The changes and decisions will be many, and painful, but time will reveal them, not my anxiety or assumptions. I’ll have time to ponder and reflect. To look back and apply lessons learned. To take it easy and start a new routine. But I don’t want to lose my love to write and be here every day. Don’t let the attitude and the promises I made me on how to act in a new job walk to the door of oblivion. I must be there, often tackling and blocking the exit.

In conclusion

My ways to deal with anxiety are not for everyone. It can be a debilitating condition and not the foolish examples I just described. Seek help, but recognize your potential. I am a self-aware person, I over think (people unambiguously tell me), often complicating things more than they should be — for me and those around me. I’m easy to criticize others when not applying the same standards on me.

Take your anxiety seriously. Speak and write about her, I’m only 50% there because I don’t speak. And maybe it could be an opportunity to learn something more about yourself.

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