
18 Lessons from 18 Years.
I turned 18 years old last Sunday. YAY for me, right? Finally, in the UK at least, I can do whatever I want (within the bounds of the law that is). Although, I know I still hopefully have a long way ahead of me in my life and my journey. It doesn’t mean, I haven’t picked up one or two lessons during my time in this world.
Without further or do, here are 18 lessons that I’ve learnt from the last 18 years of my life.
#1 — Mum is always right (nearly)
We all the know the feeling. As a child, we want to do something, just for our mum’s to say that it wasn’t a good idea. But we soon realised that she was right.
When I was younger, it was the middle of November, but it looked warm outside. Warmer than normal anyway. So, I decided it was a good idea to go out with no coat against my mum’s wise words. Before I knew it, I was cold and needing a jacket. Facing the decision of being wrong or freezing to death, I went with the former.
On my return to the house. I can see my Mum wanted to say ‘I told you so’. But she saved me the embarrassment. Mum knew best…
Some would say that this was bad parenting, but instead, I say this was teaching me a valuable lesson to listen to her. Something I proudly do to this day. (Mostly anyway).
#2 — Respect goes both ways
All kids need to learn this lesson. (And, some adults). If you want respect to be given, then you need to give it. Give and receive. It’s as simple as that.
Respect underpins all relationships in this world, no matter if it’s your lover, your mother, your friend or even your enemies. Respect underpins all of them. If you want to have relationships with people, then you need to show them respect.
If you don’t, well you’re either going to end up in one of two ways. 1) you’ll have a lot of enemies or 2) you’ll end up rather lonely. I’m not sure which one is worse really?
#3 — Learning is everything
Learning is the underpinning force in this world. If you want to do something, then you have to learn how. Once you realise how important learning is to your life and your journey, you can start to respect its power.
All of the biggest companies and the richest people in this world were made off learning. Elon Musk couldn’t have begun Space X without first learning about rocketing and space flight. Bill Gates couldn’t have built Microsoft without learning about computers and coding. I think the picture is being painted.
I’m not saying, everyone is going to become a billionaire and the next pioneer of their generation. But by learning every day, you can definitely improve your world and your life.
#4 — Always pay attention
You’d be amazed how much you can learn by just paying attention to the people that surround you, the world we live in and to a certain extent the skin you inhabit.
Attention is the basis of observing. Observations lead to questions, questions will eventually lead to answers and answers is knowledge. (And how you learn).
Have you ever just sat and watched. Watched the world drift by, almost like it’s on autopilot? If you haven’t, then I highly recommend you do. Pay attention and observe. Watch the world and the people around you. You’ll soon start forming questions to answer. Pursue those questions.
#5 — There’s always tomorrow
In the world of today, everything has to be done yesterday. No-one has time to do anything tomorrow because tomorrow is already full. But, is it really?
Our days have become busier. But, surely, we can’t expect to complete everything in that one day and still have a life? Don’t be scared to push things back a day or two so you can enjoy your life. Don’t worry you didn’t complete everything that day.
There’s always tomorrow. Enjoy your life and don’t worry about it.
#6 — Try as any hobbies as you can
As we established earlier on, learning is everything. One of the best ways of learning is trying new things. How will you know what you do and don’t like without trying things out?
This is why you need to try as many different hobbies as you can get your hands on. Try everything and maybe, just maybe one will take your interest.
In my case, before I arrived at Writing. I went through Photography, Cinematography, Graphic Design and Web Design. Then I tried writing, and I love it. I still do some of the other stuff. I still build websites and design things, but writing is now my primary interest.
#7 — Pursue your interests
If you think of something, chase it! If you dream, you can do it. Don’t let people stop you. If you want to write then write. If you want to be a photographer, then be one. If you want to create art, you can.
Chase every interest you come across. Don’t let anyone stop you, don’t let anyone say you can’t do it. Because you can!
And, maybe, one day, those interests you have could become your full-time job and careers. It’s been done, and there’s no reason why you can’t do it!
I wanted to build websites, so I went and built one. The first one was awful if I’m being honest but other time they got better and better. My current one (conermurphy.com) isn’t the best website in the world but it’s definitely my best one, and it’s the accumulation of all the sites I’ve built in the past.
After all, “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” — Confucius.
#8 — Know your strengths
I’m awful at football. I mean, I can kick and run with a ball, but I’m far from any form of competitive standard. Even a Sunday kick about with mates. This is something I know for a fact, so I don’t pursue football as a viable career opportunity. That would be a waste of both my time and a team’s.
Instead, I know I’m better at writing. So, this is where I dedicate all my time. I know my chances of making it somewhere in the world of words is a lot higher than the worlds of grass and balls. I know my strengths and my weaknesses, and then I use this to my benefit.
What I’m saying is, try everything and then take note of what you’re better at and what you enjoy. Then pursue those strengths. Afterall, the time we have in this world is limited, so we need all advantages we can get.
#9 — Trying and failing is always better than not trying
If you don’t try, then you’ll end up with 2 guaranteed results. 1) You won’t have progressed towards any goals and, 2) You have learnt anything.
If you try and fail. You have learnt. You learned what was good, what went bad and how things can be improved on for next time.
I understand failing is not the most enjoyable feeling in the world, but it’s one of the places to learn. Failing will always be above not trying. If you tried and failed, you are always better than the person who didn’t work. You are one step closer to success every time you fail.
Success is built on failure. By failing, you are simply getting one step closer to your success.
Essentially, keep failing until you succeed… Then fail some more to become more successful. And so on…
#10 — Forget about others
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the last few years especially is if you want to be happy then you can’t be worrying about what every person thinks about you and what you do.
In the past, I’ve tried thinking of the implications that each one of my decisions will do. All that happened is I became very anxious about everything I do. I didn’t want to upset anyone, so I did nothing at all.
Now looking back on this. It was the absolute worst possible thing that I could have done. As I have learnt as have many others. It is always better to do something and upset people than to do nothing and try and please everyone.
#11 — You will find love. Just give it time
Love is a funny thing. It’s not just something that you find under a rock. You aren’t going to be wondering along one day and then suddenly you’re in love. Love is something that has to be worked on. You work with someone for love. But you know that it is love when it doesn’t feel like work.
The reason many people claim they can’t find love is either they can’t find someone to try and work with, or they just give up. And, when someone gives up working then relationships and love don’t work anymore.
Personally, it had taken me my entire life so far to find the one person that I actually want to spend all my time with. The person that makes me work feel like play. The person that I can actually say I love. But I only found this person just over a year and a half ago. Up until then, I was lost searching under rocks, waiting for it to happen.
What I’m saying is. If you give love time and attention, pay attention to people and get to know them then love will happen. You just have to be patient and work at hard.
#12 — Get out there!
Exploring the world and the places we live is one of the greatest pleasures we can afford to do in this world. A lot of us will want to travel the world, I included, but if you have ever looked at flights and hotels, you know how expensive it is.
But, it doesn’t cost a thing to walk around your neighbourhood and explore. I bet there’s plenty of places near to you that you have never seen.
Just walk about and explore. Take time away from your day and go relax, think and enjoy.
Personally, walking around in the afternoon or evening allows me time to think. I can reflect on a problem that’s been bugging me or a project I want to start. Or even before a big decision, I will usually go for a walk and think about.
Getting outside allows us these luxuries.
#13 — Enjoy freedom (From liabilities)
While we’re young, we don’t have responsibilities. We don’t have to worry about making rent each money, paying for shopping or running a car. Or, even going to a job. When we’re young, we are as close as we can be to the real definition of ‘free’ as we will be in our entire lives. So enjoy the time.
Because there will come in a time when the liabilities hit you. When you have to start paying rent or needing a job. And, once you’re in the liabilities grasps that ain’t no getting out. Until you retire, I guess.
#14 — You have plenty of time from careers
One of the trends I noticed very early on in my secondary education was the underlying desire for the system to force you on to a career path.
There is constant mention of what do you want to do when you get older. Do you want to be a doctor? A lawyer? A scientist? And, so on.
This is daunting but doesn’t worry. If someone can explain to me how it is rational thinking to make a bunch of 15/16-year-olds decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives in one school year, then I’ll give them a medal. It is simply unrealistic and a stupid idea.
I left school over 2 years ago and still have 0 ideas what I want to do for the rest of my life. I know I want to write, maybe that’s what’ll do? But how knows? How does anyone know what they will be doing in 5 or 10 years time?
Simply, don’t worry if don’t know what you want to do. You have your entire life to find the career you love.
#15 — Give it your all!
Everyday. Day in day out. Give life everything you have got. From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. Learn, work, grow and build on what you did yesterday. And, whatever you don’t become stagnant in one position. However, if you do. Find a way out and then do it. If it means leaving your job, quit. Just make sure you keep working towards your goals with every last bit of effort you have.
After all, our time on this planet is limited so don’t waste any of it.
#16 — Money isn’t everything. (Don’t become a materialist)
Growing up there is always something you want. A pair of shoes, a new game or a new toy. Everything costs money, the older we get, the harder this truth sets in. But we need to make sure one thing doesn’t happen to us.
We can’t let our happiness become dependent on materialistic things.
We need to be happy within ourselves, the people we around and the actions we choose to do. We need to be happy with how we want to spend our time.
We can’t let the objects we buy dictate our happiness.
In this world, everyone is a consumerist that is true. But it doesn’t mean we can’t be happy with ourselves. Too often we find people in this world who aren’t happy unless they have the newest piece of technology or the newest car or the latest fashion trends. If we rely on these things to be happy, are we really happy?
#17 — Have fun and enjoy life!
Throughout this whole piece, the message I’ve been trying to get across is ‘enjoy yourself’. Afterall, we have one life so we might as well enjoy it. Take opportunities, take risks and get out there in the world. We live once so we might as well make it a good one. If you want something, then go get it. You want to do something then go do it. Just make sure when our time comes we can say we give it a bloody good go and it was fun!
After all, in the end, how much will all your money be worth? Nothing to you or me.
Oh, one more thing…
#18 — I know nothing…
After all, I am only 18. And when was the last time you took advice off an 18-year-old on how to live your life?
If you have any life lessons, then I would love to hear them. Either put them below or tweet me on twitter and I’d be happy to reply.

