3 Life Lessons From Playing Beer Pong
Life is the best teacher, just as it is. It is the toughest teacher. It won’t tolerate slothfulness for long. It’s always throwing some difficult problem your way and then seeing what you will do with it.
Stephanee Killen
College is a time of accelerated learning. Our young, malleable minds eagerly absorb new information as we engage in eye-opening discussions with students and professors from diverse backgrounds. Our previously held beliefs are challenged and we are forced to wrestle with the truth being presented from the other side of the spectrum. This matures us rather quickly and we take one more step towards enlightenment as a result.
But most of our learning is done outside of the classroom, in our extra-curricular activities. Some of us join the sports team and learn the value of teamwork, competition, and physical endurance. These individuals travel all over the country in pursuit of that NCAA championship title, learning how to perform at a high level when the stakes are high, even when the whole crowd is rooting against them. Some of us try to create the next Facebook and learn the values of entrepreneurship and persistence. These Mark Zuckerberg-wannabes have to be innovative and constantly hone new skill sets, whether it is learning how to program in a new language or pitching one’s business idea to an angel investor.
Fortunately, most of us pursue something far more prestigious and life-altering than anything previously mentioned: the Mastery of Beer Pong.
Looking back, there’s no other way I would have rather spent my time. Here are some of the life-changing lessons that have shaped my destiny:
LESSON #1: Believe it Before you See It
In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.
Nikos Kazantzakis
For most people, shooting the beer pong ball towards the cup is a two second activity. They just pick up the ball, aim, and shoot.
Not for me.
I shamelessly spent up to a minute during my turn. I picked up the ball and extended my arms out while aiming it towards the cup. Then brought it back towards my face. Then back towards the cup, then back towards my face again. I repeated this pumping motion over and over again until I’d “feel” it.
What was I trying to feel?
The emotion of how ecstatically happy I would be after the ball goes in the cup.
During that time of pumping, I would visualize the ball going in the cup, and I would not release until I believed with all my heart I was going to make it.
Never mind that it took way too long. Never mind that girls would look at me like I was weird. Didn’t matter. There was a divine reason I was at that beer pong table and I had a destiny to fulfill. Pump. Pump. Pump. Pump.
And then I’d miss.
You would think I learned my lesson. Maybe I shouldn’t pump so much my next turn. I mean if I’m going to miss anyway, I should at least try to look good while doing it right?
Nope.
There’s a certain delusional quality that all successful people have to have. You have to believe that something different than what has happened for the last 50 million years of history — you have to believe that something different can happen.
Will Smith
The next turn I would take twice as long. This time, refusing to release until I was twice as certain as before. Pump. Pump. Pump. Pump. Pump. Pump. Pump. Pump.
Sometimes I’d make it. Sometimes I’d miss again. Rinse. Repeat.
But this was by far the most important life lesson which has stuck with me. Truth is, everything important in life is a sustained act of faith. Marriage. Raising Children. Success in business.
While believing in yourself doesn’t guarantee success, doubting in yourself definitely guarantees failure.
There were times I didn’t believe that my next beer pong shot was going in and so I wouldn’t spend as much time visualizing and pumping. I missed 100% of those shots. On the other hand, when I did visualize and feel certain before releasing the ball, I made the shot at a much higher rate.
Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.
Babe Ruth, ‘Home Run King’
We can see this same principle applied in all areas of life. Babe Ruth, well known as the “Home Run King” was also called the “King of Strikeouts”. Even the greatest three-point shooters in NBA history have made less than half of their three-point attempts.
Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for not being creative enough. Critics told Beyonce she couldn’t sing. Abraham Lincoln lost eight elections before becoming president.
And yet, just like my college self did during times of beer pong hardship, these historical figures relentlessly pursued their goal, believing with all their heart that things would turn out for the better.
They believed it before they saw it.
Master this aspect of beer pong and you’re destined to make history.
LESSON #2: You’re Either Growing or Dying
Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.
Napoleon Hill
As the night progresses and you become more inebriated, your accuracy starts dropping. As the game progresses and you make more cups, your target gets smaller. In a desperate attempt to keep you from making more cups, your opponents talk more and more smack, trying to get inside your head.
All of these things force you to grow. You need to grow your accuracy by adjusting your shot. Grow your ability to block out the smack talk. Grow your ability to handle your alcohol.
The choice is: you either keep growing or your opponent outgrows and destroys you. There is no such thing as climbing to the top and then just maintaining things as it is.
Ask Blockbuster. Borders. Kodak.
In 1976, Kodak accounted for 90% of film and 85% of camera sales in the United States. Until the 1990’s, it was rated one of the world’s most valuable brands.
By 2012, Kodak had filed for bankruptcy.
At first glance, the answer is obvious. Times changed and Kodak fell because digital photography took over. However, Fujifilm, Kodak’s counterpart who nearly monopolized the Japanese film market in the same way Kodak nearly monopolized the American market, continues to thrive. In 2016, Fujifilm generated close to $6 billion in revenue.
What was the difference between the two?
Fujifilm and Kodak both saw the digital revolution coming. Fujifilm, as a result, was able to diversify its business successfully. For instance, given that film is a bit like skin (both contain collagen and fade due to oxidation) Fujifilm took some of the chemicals it used for film processing and launched a line of cosmetics called Astalift. Also, using its expertise in film development, Fujifilm began making optical film for LCD flat-panel screens. In one sort of this LCD film, Fujifilm enjoys a 100% market share.
On the other hand, Kodak focused on digital cameras. But digital cameras were eaten up by camera phones in a matter of years.
Such is life.
It’s the same reason it’s so hard for sports teams to win back-to-back championships. The hunger which existed during the first season has already been satisfied. This leaves room for resentment amongst the team members who feel they are not getting as much credit as they deserve. Also, all of the other teams are gunning for the returning champions, making trades and developing strategies solely for the purpose of beating them. On top of that, the returning champs didn’t have as much time to rest during the off-season. With all of these factors working against them, winning that second championship is exponentially harder than the first. Three-peats are only reserved for the kings.
All of the repeat champs are constantly changing up their approach, adding more weapons to the arsenal by making trades during the off-season. Which brings us to the last point:
LESSON #3: It’s All About the People
Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.
Michael Jordan
There’s no way you’ll sink all of those cups by yourself. While talking smack to your opponent, While watching out for sneaky bounces. While downing all the beer.
The most important lesson I learned throughout my beer pong years is that it’s really all about the people you play with. People who will crack jokes and make you laugh, whether you’re winning or losing. People who instill confidence in you. People who will drink the beer for you when you can’t handle any more. People you can celebrate with once you finally make that last cup.
Just like everything else in life, beer pong is a team sport, and having the right people around us changes everything.
In 2013, a palliative nurse recorded the most common regrets expressed by the dying. Here were the top five:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard (and spent more time with family instead)
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Regrets #1 and #3 show that it’s absolutely necessary to stay true to ourselves and to pursue our dreams. As human beings we are wired to pursue excellence and to “win”, whatever that may entail.
Regret #5 tells us we can enjoy the journey along the way, instead of being so fixated on the destination.
But most importantly, regrets #2 and #4 shows the importance of maintaining and nurturing our relationships with the people around us.
Society makes us think we need to choose between one or the other. We can either:
a) Spend our time and energy pursuing success or
b) Spend our time and energy being a good friend and family member.
But what if we didn’t have to choose one or the other, but rather they reinforced each other in a virtuous cycle?
Take Craig Clemens’s thoughts on entrepreneurs in relationships:
“I heard a story about a recent conference where they had the most self-made billionaires ever together in one room. Someone posed the question, “What is the most important thing that you would say it takes to become a billionaire? What do you all have in common?” After a short debate, they all came to a unanimous agreement: The one thing most responsible for their success was having a great partner. It wasn’t setting goals, or time management, or being in the right industry. All of those things helped too of course but they all agreed… having a great, long term partner was critical to their success. So I think if you’re wanting to build a business, absolutely a relationship is a way to go because one, you’ve got someone there to support you.”
From personal experience, many people refuse to settle down until they have “become established” in their careers first. And yet according to the quote above, it seems like we may be doing it backwards.
In addition, in 148 studies involving 300,000 participants, researchers found that the effect of social ties on lifespan is twice as strong as that of exercising. Good friendships were correlated with extended lifespan and better health overall. Lots of it has to do with our ability to process stress.
So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.
A.J. Materi
We’ve been conditioned by media and society to associate the word “success” with “wealth”. And yet we realize that once we’ve lost our health, we’re willing to spend all of our wealth on getting it back. Maybe we should recondition our minds to associate the word “success” with “health.” But given that our health is so heavily dependent on good relationships, maybe we can take it a step further and recondition our minds to associate “success” with “love.”
All this to say that on the beer pong table, it’s most important to laugh and have a good time with good people. That alone is winning. Interestingly enough, when we appreciate this process, we end up becoming more likely to “win” the actual game.
And when you “lose”?
You get more Beer for the Buck than your other friends who pitched in the same amount of money for the beer but “won”.
That is true winning my friends.
Cheers.
Previous writings:
Yay for Layoffs! Why We Love it When Evil Robots Steal our Jobs
How We Became DumbFOX: Why We Now Live in the Post-Truth Era
Deplorable Racists and Immoral Moochers: Polarization in Today’s Politics
