3 Things I’ve Learned Hanging Out With People Three Times My Age
They tell you secrets no one tells you about.
Over the past few years, I’ve been spending more time with people twice or thrice my age, despite being in my early 20s. They are not as dull as many people thought they were and, if we get to know them better, we can see the child inside them as well.
At first, I didn’t understand why I got along better with older adults. When your friends are older than you, you kind of do raise an eyebrow, but after spending time with them, I finally get it.
There is so much in them that people our generations seem to miss. We always thought that they are not up to date or even haters to today's generation, which makes them boring.
I admit that they aren’t quite interested in what our generations are up to these days, but I can tell you that when it comes to self-improvements, these people have all the elements we require to face it. They may have come from a different time, but what we young people are going through is still similar to what they had gone through at their time.
Here is why I now prefer going with people way older than me:
1) They like deep meaningful conversations.
Maybe not all elder people do this, but the majority I went with love to have deep conversations.
They are so laser-focused on conversations about what’s going on today, the problem we are all facing, and so many more. You can feel that the conversations you have with the other person are so very different than the people you always go with now.
In my experience, I was able to talk a lot with my former teacher whom I haven’t seen for a long time. I don’t remember what subject he was teaching, but when I transferred, somehow, we were able to connect a lot. We spoke about mental health, self-improvements, motivations, etc. And after chatting for a while with them, I felt like we got closer better than we did at school.
Most people my age don’t like those conversations. It had nothing to do with the purpose of life or what’s our long-term goals, they were mostly talking about gossips, social media, shopping, and all the things that accomplish short-term goals. It wasn’t meaningful.
Once upon a time, I would’ve been interested in those things. But now that I am more focused on the long-term, these conversations don’t excite me anymore. I don’t learn anything from that, and I’m not reaching my goals.
2) You learn a lot from them.
Your mamas/papas/mentors were right when they told us to listen to them because they carry a lot of experience to this day. Far more experience than us.
Older people love to share with you their work experiences on how they were once in our shoes and now successful in their own ways.
When I spoke with them, I learned a lot from their stories. I got to know some paths that I may want to avoid and things that I want to jump into to learn and be prepared for the coming future. It was both interesting and inspiring to hear the choices, decisions, works, and many other things they have done to be the person they are today. Sometimes they can give you work opportunities!
3) They share a lot of great life advice with you.
When we are engaged in their storytelling about their own lives, and they know when we are interested to keep listening to them, they would give you all the life advice you need.
I’m not saying that people my age, particularly in their early 20s like me, don’t have advice like the elders. There are still people around my age who gave me advice that inspires me, they too spoke to people way older than them. But ultimately, older people are the best life advisor.
The best advice I always get from them is to follow my dreams and never give up to work on it no matter how tough things can be. They know how much I will regret it if I don’t follow my dreams, and I believe that it’s true.
I love it when they help guide and mentor me, I felt like my perspective has changed and earned new motivation for my life ahead. It made me want to keep improving to reach the success level I envision myself to be.
Bonus: They too are still children.
As boring as most people thought they are, there is still a hint of childishness in them that they still manage to retain (at least to the ones I’ve spoken to). So the phrase that old people are boring is actually not true.
One of the most memorable ones was when I was with my former CMO, who is older than me by 20 years more. I was hanging out with her at some point in a bar and somehow our conversation topic drifted to movies, and it turned out, she was really into those, especially where the films contain a lot of fandoms in there. She was so enthusiastic about the movie characters, the plots, and even the behind-the-scenes of it. It was so fun and I felt like we were the same age somehow.
Another similar one I did was when I was with my father discussing movies (thankfully we have the same interest). We were talking about the movie Bohemian Rhapsody and he took the reins when he spoke about how the film was so great and accurate to the Freddie Mercury he once saw on TV. That made me really glad to bring him to the cinemas to watch it on the big screen back then, and I can really see that the college kid in him is out. He was laughing, singing along (but not loudly), and just kept smiling during the entire movie. I was really happy that he found this joy of experiencing to be a child again.
Recently, I read this book called The Ride of a Life Time Lessons Learned from 15 Years as CEO of the Walt Disney Company by Robert Iger, and he ended the chapter of the book by saying:
No matter who we become or what we accomplish, we still feel that we’re essentially the kid we were at some simpler time long ago. Somehow that’s the trick to leadership too, I think, to hold on to that awareness of yourself even as the world tells you how powerful and important you are.
And I believe that he is right. In the end, we are all still kids deep inside of us who want to go back to those simpler times.
Conclusion
Today, I still hang out with older people. Since I’ve entered the business/working world, I find that I needed a lot of guidance. So I often find myself talking to them a lot more.
So here are the benefits of hanging out with older people:
- They like deep meaningful conversations
- You will learn a lot from them
- They share with you a lot of great life advice.
I want to let people know that older people aren’t as boring as many thought they are. It’s fun, refreshing, and it’s like gaining this lost ally you thought that you didn’t want but need.
