Taking a page from the business world could help you win in your relationship.
We strive for success. We work hard to land the perfect job, climb up the corporate ladder, and increase our paychecks. We make sacrifices, put in long hours, make the right connections, and do what it takes to try and get to the level of professional success we dream of.
But when it comes to marriage we tend to be less strategic in getting the desirable results we want — a fulfilling, joy-filled and harmonious life.
I’m not saying marriage should run like a business. But, I do think some of the factors that make companies operate smoothly could really help.
Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
If you don’t have something constructive to say to your spouse, flip it and turn to “work speak.” That’s a thing I came up with.
Say to yourself, how would I say this if I were in a situation at work? How would I try to resolve this conflict if I were to handle it before a supervisor?
A while ago, I was sitting in the office of an executive. His wife called in to get some clarity about an event on their schedule. He had put her on speaker phone. They sounded professional as they conducted their affairs. It wasn’t cold. It wasn’t laced with extra emotional baggage either. The exchange was brief. But it was enough to leave a lasting impression.
So, I thought, what would it look like if I used “work speak” with my husband before possibly flying off the handle? What if I could stay calm and choose my words wisely when I got upset? What if I switched to “work speak” to diffuse heated situations to make my communication more effective?
What would it look like if you were more objective in your tone and the words you speak next time you get into an argument with your spouse?
Public companies release their quarterly earnings every three months.
I am not advocating you publicly reveal to everyone the inner workings of your relationship.
What I am encouraging is that couples take an assessment of their relationship, their health and finances every three months. Review your data together. Set a date and time to have this meeting and actually follow through with it. Talk about changes you want to make. Then do it.
Right now, my husband and I do a big assessment at the beginning and middle of the year.
How would the trajectory of any marriage change in the course of a year if there were scheduled check-ups? To see what’s working. What’s not, and what could be improved?
I owe it to myself to grow and become a better human, wife, mother and leader.
I have had to do self-reviews to rate myself while working in the corporate world. It shows how self-aware I am. To take a good look at what I need to do to take my career to the next level.
Why not do that in my marriage? If I was able to do all of that for a paycheck why not for something that is priceless?
I cannot and should not want to be the same person I was when I met my husband.
Like self-care, my daily self-review is a must.
The more depth I acquire, the more valuable I will become to my husband, my children, my extended family, friends, and coaching clients.
Layoffs. This is a devastating and necessary process for companies to get lean and more efficient.
Sometimes in relationships, we need to let go of things that are not adding to the bottom line. That could be some bad habits, negative people that distract us or drag us down.
What are you willing to cut out of your life to move full steam ahead toward your goals and your plans as a couple?
Look at some of the most successful businesses. People admire them for the service they provide, the money they make or how efficient they are. Others try to copy them or emulate them.
If you’re married, you’re in business too. You get to define what that looks like. You choose the system that will help your relationship succeed. In the process, you may inspire others to do the same.
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