5 Reasons Women Should Propose to Men, and Why We Need to Challenge Toxic Gender Stereotypes

We live in the twenty-first century, and stereotypes shouldn’t influence our lives.

Joanna Henderson
Sep 15 · 6 min read
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h, marriage. An important step in a relationship that comes in after long-term dating. Not everyone wishes to take the plunge, and many people explore alternate routes. But regardless of what your feelings on marriage are, one toxic trend has always been holding us back: only one partner proposing to the other one, based on gender.

According to The Atlantic, 97% of men propose to their female partners. It means that only 3% of women are resilient and open-minded enough to plan a proposal themselves.

Society has always taught us that a man is supposed to pop the question while a woman’s job in to patiently wait till he decides to do so. In my opinion, it doesn’t make sense. Why only one person has all the power while the other one has zero? It’s a rhetorical question, as the offender is obvious: patriarchy. But we live in the twenty-first century. We challenge many stereotypes and limitations and transform people’s minds. It’s time to challenge this one as well.

Not every woman believes she can propose to her partner, and I would like to give every female 5 reasons why she should. A recent survey concludes that 70% of males would be over the moon if their lady presented them a ring! It means the attitudes towards proposals are shifting, and we should encourage this positive trend.

Disclaimer: This article is gender-based due to the nature of the topic, and it covers heterosexual relationships solely. Let’s not forget other genders who may face different challenges, but I won’t be touching on those today.
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Reason Number One: Family Planning

Many people want to have their own family: a spouse, children, a home — and let’s throw in a Golden retriever to the mix. While you don’t have to be married to start a family, it’s important for a lot of us. Why do you need to wait for someone to decide when YOU get to have a family of your own? Aren’t you supposed to make that decision together, instead of one person being in charge?

If a woman feels like she’s ready to start a family, why would she sit quietly and wait till her partner “allows” her to do so? It’s action time! She should propose herself. If her partner is on the same page, he will say “yes.”

But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who proposed and “won” the proposal “race.” What’s important is having the freedom to do it yourself, as opposed to being controlled by someone else’s decision process.

If you love someone, and you want to marry them — propose! It doesn’t matter what gender you are. It’s about love, not stereotypes.

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Reason Number Two: True Love

When people love each other, they often want to get married. Again, it’s optional, not compulsory. Having that said, marriage is a natural extension of a relationship for many individuals.

You wake up in the morning and realize your partner is the one. You want to spend the rest of your life with them, start a family, raise children — or remain childless, it’s your choice — and grow old together. You know it’s true love, and you will never let it go. So, you jump off the bed and… Accept the fact that you have to wait for months or even years until your partner comes to the same realization? You have to agree to spend every day wanting a family of your own, but being unable to do anything about it? Who came up with this nonsense? Who brainwashed women into thinking it’s acceptable to be controlled by someone?

If you love someone, and you want to marry them — propose! It doesn’t matter what gender you are. It’s about love, not stereotypes.

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Reason Number Three: You Reject Closed-Minded Stereotypes

The reason we are here! The offender themselves: the societal gender-based stereotypes which people have been perpetuating for centuries. The question is, why? Why would we ever believe someone telling us we are not good enough to take control of our lives, our relationships, our feelings and destinies?

If you wake up and decide you don’t want to waste any more time and you wish to spend your entire life with your partner — propose. Gender is irrelevant here.

The good news is, we live in modern times. Arguably, this is the Best Time to be alive. We tackle racism, misogyny, ageism, and many other societal issues that should not have existed in the first place. Few things hold us back, and gender stereotypes are one of them.

A lot of us rejected other stereotypes. You accept different sexualities, support the LGBTQ+ community, battle the pay inequality — and numerous other issues. We are doing a good job! But we should challenge ALL the foolish stereotypes, especially those that decide our livelihoods and future. Anyone has the right to propose, and everyone should know it’s an option. Even if you are old-fashioned, you still have the freedom to decide what you want in your love life.

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Reason Number Four: Refusal to Give Away Control and Power

There is no point in listing all the damaging and horrendous things patriarchy has done to societies. We all know how harmful it is, especially when we’re talking about genders. It’s not just women whom the gender stereotypes harmed; men are struggling with unhealthy standards as well.

Everyone should reject the toxicity of stereotypical thinking. Women need to refuse to give away the equal power they have in relationships and their love lives. No one should decide our fate for us, and no one should control us.

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Reason Number Five: You Don’t Want to Waste time

We live right now. Some believe there’s always tomorrow, but for others, tomorrow never comes. Even when it comes, it can be grim and boring, instead of happy and colourful. Waiting forever is also not an option. It’s important to plan your life, as opposed to going with the flow.

If you wake up and decide you don’t want to waste any more time and you wish to spend your entire life with your partner — propose. Gender is irrelevant here. The only relevant factor is your desire to move to another stage of your life.

You are the one who decides your fate. Don’t waste time.

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Joanna Henderson

Written by

Canadian. Mental health activist. Banker and financier who drinks too much coffee. Pursuing happiness and sharing my thoughts with others.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment. Join 120,000+ others making the climb on one of the fastest-growing pubs on Medium.

Joanna Henderson

Written by

Canadian. Mental health activist. Banker and financier who drinks too much coffee. Pursuing happiness and sharing my thoughts with others.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment. Join 120,000+ others making the climb on one of the fastest-growing pubs on Medium.

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