5 Signs You Secretly Hate Your Job
Have you become a zombie and haven’t noticed?
Not everyone is in love with their job. It truly helps but seems almost impossible. Maybe it’s enough to not hate your job? If that’s the least you can do, it’s great. But do you really not hate your job?
If I planted a seed of doubt in you, welcome.
Here I present to you 5 signs that I now notice looking back at myself working a job I hated but tried to convince myself otherwise.
1. You count seconds till the end of your workday.
We all want to go home and do all the fun stuff we planned with our TV and favorite blanket. It’s expected. But if you’re constantly looking at the clock and thinking of turning the hour hand just to end this misery, it’s a different story.
When I was doing an internship at a hospital, it went exactly like that. It felt like running. I’d look at my watch and mumble to myself “just another 2 hours, you can do it”, “there’s only a half of what you’ve already done left”, “ignore the pain, it will end soon”.
Whenever I’d see I’m done with my work and I can go home, I’d run to change my clothes and fly to the bus station. I couldn’t let myself spend another second in that place.
And what if your workday doesn’t end exactly when it’s supposed to? A wave of fatigue would shield you like a weighted blanket, just not in a good way.
Do you know that feeling? Yeah, you might hate your job. And speaking about fatigue…
2. Your fatigue is disproportional to the work you do.
When every simple task makes you want to kill yourself, that’s a sign. When you have to push through every email, every call, or every document, it exhausts you.
I remember I’d have to talk to a patient and it would take so much energy from me. I’d do a pep talk to myself in a bathroom, slap myself in the face a couple of times just to be more alert.
I’d come to the patient and he’d compliment my red cheeks.
I enjoy talking to people, I love helping them, but I hated doing that in this environment. It killed my personality, it killed my voice. I knew I was more energetic. But even the walls of the hospital would suck the soul out of me.
After such an exhausting day at work, even if you didn’t do much, you don’t have the energy for anything else. That brings us to another point.
3. You abandoned all your hobbies and friends.
When work sucks your soul out of you, you simply become a zombie. Does a zombie have friends? Or hobbies? I do not know the answer to this question, however, I am sure a tired zombie does not.
If after teleporting home you put your hands forward and limp to bed whispering “rest” through your dry lips, I’m sure hobbies and friends are two too complicated concepts for your tired zombie brain.
If your job does this to you, I can’t imagine not hating it. You’d need something to cheer yourself up, right?
Before teleporting home, to my bed, I’d have another stop at a supermarket. I had a hard day, I deserve a reward, right? Right?
4. You implement more and more bad habits into your life.
So you’re home, in your bed, you’re resting. Sounds kind of boring. You need entertainment. It can come in different shapes and sizes, but when you’re exhausted, you’re searching for a quick and easy dose of dopamine.
To reward myself for surviving such a terrible day, I’d usually buy a bunch of junk food. I’d surprise myself with chocolates, chips, gummies, cake, garlic bread, cookies, waffles, soda, beer, ice cream, muffins, the list goes on and on. Every day was a different reward. The shape and form were the same.
This behavior was dangerous for my health and my wallet, but it was the only way I knew to survive.
And what would I do while eating this garbage? Watch garbage TV or YouTube. I’d waste my time simply because I had no energy.
But you know what I always had? A shitty attitude.
5. You’re always in a bad mood and always complaining.
Maybe one day you put every ounce of energy left into organizing a friend meet. It’s supposed to be a fun afternoon but you’re annoyed and you can’t relax. Your zombie brain keeps demanding rest. You dread tomorrow.
When your friends ask you how you’re doing, you just smile and wave. “I’m fine, everything’s okay, nothing special” — you say. When they ask you about your job, you try to find a single nice thing to tell, but you can’t. There’s nothing good. It’s blank.
And then there’s time to rant.
“They don’t use my whole potential. There are those stupid rules, that make everything harder but don’t bring any good. The people I work with have no opinions about anything. I’m so drained just from being there. The work I do there is pointless. I could do better elsewhere.”
You so passionately yell your arguments, you didn’t even know you were this outspoken. Just imagine if you were so passionate about the thing you do in your job.
Honestly, from Zombie to Zombie
I’ve been there, done that. I pushed through, I tried to enjoy what I do. Going into medicine was like marrying an abusive man who I despised. This marriage was doomed from the start. I just had to collect my courage and leave.
If whenever someone mentions your job, your eyes start to tear up, it’s a pretty obvious sign. If you can’t think of any other advantage of your job other than “it pays my bills”, I must tell you, there are other jobs that do it as well.
If things aren’t working out, you’re tired, lonely, bored, overworked, and simply unhappy — break up with your job. There is plenty of fish in the sea. Just say “it’s not me, it’s you” and walk away.
You wouldn’t stay with a person who makes you feel miserable, right? If your job makes you this person, you’re stuck.
If you can’t find a job you love, at least don’t settle for a job you hate.
