7 Wonderful Ways to Recharge Your Badass Self
Living with the after-effects of complex trauma can be all-consuming but it doesn’t have to mean that life is a burnout.
Days like today are tough for me.
Those days being the well-meaning ones that I have set aside to rest and re-group when life has gotten a little too overwhelming.
The only problem here is that for me, to physically rest doesn’t leave me rested if my mindfulness practice has been less than on-point and my mind runs much faster and farther than my legs could possibly ever take me.
That’s no mean feat, I’m a pretty fast runner; I’ll have you know.
It’s taking practice, patience, and a whole load of self-compassion to remember that it won’t always be like this, I’m just not well-rehearsed in slowing down and giving my body a rest.
Complex trauma or C-PTSD isn’t often picked out as a diagnosis unless you have a trauma-informed therapist given that it’s not in the DSM-5 but occurs often in childhood trauma patients.
I lost both of my parents to alcohol abuse; my dad when I was 15 years old and my mum, later, when I was 28, of the very same eventuality after the stresses and build-up of emotional and financial abuse took their toll.
I Don’t Always Have Days Where I’m On My Ass
I’m very good at my wellbeing strategy; to the point that I actually consider myself a wellbeing strategist.
With over a decade of a career in the fitness industry, I have learned and built my own ways of thriving through the gritty bits. It hasn’t been without its faults of course, but look, I’m here and I’m doing pretty good.
Mental grit rit led me to stick my middle finger up to the world and it’s statistics and become a national ambassador for the then biggest fitness company in the UK. It led me to set up my company mid-postpartum depression, 2-hours-of-sleep-a-night insomnia, and familial emotional abandonment and abuse, which then was nominated for a local award.
Most recently, I traveled across the world from Aberdeen to Bali and Sydney with my 2-year-old girl, right before she turned 2 (before I’d have to pay for both seats).
Was I ready? No. I had to take the chance while it was there and leap forward in fear; careful not to look down as I took the leap. It was most likely one of the bravest things I’ve ever done.
On the days where I am on my ass, I remember achievements like this.
So I like to combine this mental grit, some may say stubbornness, my knowledge of fitness and nutrition, and love for all things psychology to make my wellbeing strategy gold. (Okay, at the very least, make it work well enough to get me back feeling on form pronto.)
At the most fragile moments, I found that choices had to be made and I had to try not to give myself a hard time, and choose to reframe thinking.
These are the ways I’ve found most helpful for getting me out of a funk and back to my badass self.
Asking For Help
Often asking for help can feel really uncomfortable when it really doesn’t have to be. Asking for help reflects a huge amount of bravery, not weakness like we can often think.
Asking for help was one of the biggest differences I made after having my little girl; parenting humbled me. It made me realize that I don’t have to battle things on my own and that it’s okay to ask for support and you know what? People really like to help others; it’s a boost of sorts.
Practice Gratitude
Not much shifts a crappy mood for me better than the consistent practice of gratitude. Particularly being grateful for my beautiful daughter and our home.
It’s something I remind myself to do morning and night because I know that when it slips I get stuck in a negative cycle of blaming the world for feeling rubbish.
Being grateful for what you have gives you much more get-up-and-go than complaining about all that you don’t.
I write my gratitude list because it helps me to process it much better. Usually, the same things show up like my daughter, my chosen family and the fact we have food and a warm place to sleep.
Practice Affirmations
In times of low mood, it’s really easy to be self-critical; setting the regular internal dialogue as negative and hopeless — then we wonder why we feel so miserable.
Learning to catch the negative self-talk and swap it out with a positive replacement can take practice, but the shift in confidence and mood is absolutely worth it.
I felt incredibly awkward repeating ones on a playlist half-heartedly but in time I powered up and actually believed the positive words.
This made my days much brighter when I wasn’t weighing myself down with scathing criticism and judgment.
Get Moving
While it’s super tempting to grab a family-sized bag of Cheetos and hide under the duvet watching re-runs of Friends (yes), I’m afraid that does little in actually feeling better.
In fact, it’s just another layer of self-sabotage.
First thing in the morning, do something small like a few stretches or air squats, even 10. Something to just let your body know that you’re awake.
This has a two-fold benefit as it can help set you up for better sleep too.
Exercise releases endorphins, making you feel happier; helps you to get better sleep, increases your confidence and improves your overall health.
Learn To Breathe
Given it’s an autonomic response in the body’s workings, I’d forgive you for feeling a little indignant at the idea of having to learn to breathe again.
Anxiety can have us taking shallow breaths which can tighten the muscles of the chest and have us wearing our shoulders as earrings; not comfortable.
Diaphragmatic breathing has you breathing all the way into the lungs, helping to get you out of the fight or flight response and into using your parasympathetic nervous system which will help you to relax, slowing the heart rate and letting your digestive system do its job too.
Eat For Smiles
Back to the Cheetos. Eating lots of processed foods that tend to be high in salt and sugar can suck the energy right out of you; taking your mood along with it.
Studies underway are looking at the link between anxiety and gut health. Look for a diet that supports the building of hormones like serotonin which helps us feel happy. Foods like bananas, turkey, and peanuts contain tryptophan which is used by the body to synthesize serotonin.
Managing blood sugar well helps to prevent those crashes too, hangry is not a good state to be in if you’re already wrestling with the black dog.
Fill up on plenty of nutritious foods, lots of vegetables in the mix, replacing some of the processed food to prime your body to feel great.
Love It Up
Do things you love, have a list of go-to pick-me-up’s ready to go when you’re feeling gash.
Don’t compile it when you’re already down, have it ready so you know what to do.
Spend time with people you love and shun the idea that you’re no fun to be around when you’re finding things tough. That’s just your brain lying to you, it’s trying to protect you; sometimes it’s just a little out of touch with the truth.
A hypnotherapist helping me to repair my sleep had told me to do a checklist — positive interaction, positive action, and positive thought.
If I was checking all these boxes then it would help me to maintain a lighter feel.
Show yourself some love.
Play music that sets your heart on fire and dance like an idiot. I have multiple playlists stacked up on Spotify that cater for each and every mood.
Luxuriate in the things that bring you joy when you feel the lows kicking in hard.
Screw it — add a face mask and dress up while you’re at it. Remember that the low times do pass, look after yourself the way you would anyone you love dearly. There’s always plenty of people out there that want to see you shine your brightest.
Amanda Jayne is single mummy to Ruby, aged 2, Personal Trainer and Nutrition Advisor of over a decade; and a C-PTSD warrior passionate about sharing all she’s learned about personal growth, self-development, and her own healing and wellbeing journey.
