How about taking the day off to do nothing? Reset the mind, body, and soul. Your to-do list can wait. Show genuine appreciation for the life you have right now.
This life is levels above where you have been. It’s not the final destination. You have much more to experience but this is pretty good. Oh, but you need food. Your fridge is empty.
It’s lovely to wander the grocery store while everyone else is at work. The shelves are well stocked, the best fruits and veggies are available. As is the specific brand of 3% lactose-free milk you need. People must be back on the full-fat wagon. It’s never available after 4 PM.
A person can linger over the fancy cheese display. Debating whether to get cinnamon cranberry goat cheese or bocconcini. Then settling for both. Bonus points if you leave the store without buying Easter candy.
Stop and look around at what is. You see a mix of old and new. The stately character houses of your neighborhood. The mess of construction as they build a new freeway. How your own life has changed in the last five years.
Remember your first crappy apartment? The days when you didn’t know how to cook or clean? This place you now call home is like a palace by comparison. Complete with a gourmet chef. Except you’re the chef. Thank goodness for a dishwasher.
Your teenage self would be shocked at how much you enjoy cleaning. Spending that much money on a vacuum and actually using it. Your mother was right. Hanging up your clothes isn’t the end of the world.
Having a house to yourself is amazing. A childhood fantasy. All the bedrooms and bathrooms for your exclusive use. A garage. The whole place decorated how you want. Having friends and family over. Feeding the people you love. Watching them enjoy themselves.
Your nephews love sleeping over on a weekend. You get to be the fun aunt. Taking them to the LEGO store and playing on the playground. Having discussions about life and growing up. Sharing with them your goals and dreams and helping them voice their own.
The successes you’ve had that brought you to this moment. The one huge failure that changed your life. A decade later, you can see the purpose of it. That experience set you free from your expectations. You explored life. Your sexuality. You questioned your childhood religion and let it go.
The money flowed. You worked hard at jobs that were different from your previous career. You developed new skills. You applied your talents in different ways. You began to understand that life has more to offer.
Writing. It’s an unexpected choice for you. A four-minute article allows for more words than a four-minute song. You like to talk. This suits you better. Make no mistake, you can compose a beautiful melody.
You love an audience. All those years as a musician, the applause was addicting. Remember how long it took to learn the violin. Years of practice. It’s an instrument that requires endless learning. Writing is no different. Appreciate those who lift you. Jason Weiland, Edel Quinn. They live in different parts of the world from you. They offer a different perspective through their writing. They’ve also magically appeared in the moments you were about to quit.
The dozens of road trips you’ve taken over the last 24 months. Discovering new places along the way to favorite destinations. The farmers’ market along the Trans-Canada Highway that makes the best gourmet sausages. The stunning white sand beach in the middle of the prairies. Spending time in communities that inspire you. Feeling free as you drive alongside the majestic Rocky Mountains.
San Francisco whispered its name in your ear until you Google’d it. Traveling to that city inspired you so much. You even moved into a townhouse with four bay windows when you returned to your city. A large canvas of the Golden Gate Bridge is featured on your living room wall.
The solo life speaks to you. It’s not understood by many but you understand it. This life brings you clarity. You’re learning to accept yourself. The mixed-race girl who feels like a boy who looks like a woman. Embracing your desire to remain childfree. Confessing your love for luxury and glitter.
There is power in knowing how you want to feel. In your careers, in your relationships. Joy and heartbreak in discovering what you have to offer as an artist, as a lover, as a friend.
You feel a swell in your heart as you listen to music. Writing in your journal a list of things you want to experience. Reading pages from days gone by. Certain dreams did come true. Other dreams evolved into more practical requests. Do you really want to pay the utility bill for a 50,000 square foot house?
You recall the men and women you’ve loved and lost. It’s only a handful. You are a handful. Your need to remain independent is important. You can let someone else into your life if they share a similar vision. It’s OK.
You were quite full of yourself in your 20s, weren’t you? You wanted it all right then and there. It’s not that you didn’t deserve it all. There were lessons and skills you had yet to learn. You now have a lot of what you wanted back then. You appreciate it on a level that 20-year-old you would not have. Remember that when you get impatient for results. 46-year-old you will have a greater love for life than you do now. She will be able to handle the results of what you’re working towards right now.
You don’t shy away from your mortality. You want to go out at 95, knowing you lived on your terms. That’s the thing about life, you really don’t know what’s going to happen. One breath at a time. Enjoy it.