A Dream is Crushed — How to look on the Bright Side
The Crushed Dream
So as a child you were told that anything is possible in life as long as you try and work hard for it.
Like many young girls, I had dreams to work in the entertainment industry growing up.
Growing up as a Chinese-Canadian, I knew that there were a few options to pursue this. 1) I could return to my ancestor’s roots, East Asia, to join the entertainment industry there or 2) Pursue it in North America.
Option 1 would be an easier route as many Chinese-Canadians have found success in the Far East. Just look at Kris Wu, one of the most popular Chinese artists right now or Henry Lau, a popular Kpop artist. They are both Chinese-Canadians as well. This is because the Far East embraces entertainers who grew up in the west and many of their successful entertainers are people who grew up in Canada and the US.
Option 2 would be much more difficult. There isn’t much Asian representation in the North American entertainment industry. The first Asian artist that I saw that had ongoing success here was Kpop super boy band BTS, who I’m a huge fan of by the way, didn’t really make it mainstream here until 2016/2017. Many would argue it’s Psy but he only had 2 viral hits and not ongoing success. Also I didn’t see much Asian representation on TV until the TV show Fresh off the boat came out in 2015. So growing up I didn’t think that this was an option at all for someone of a Chinese-Canadian background.
My parents though ever since I was young say 8 or 9 years old told me to not even think about the entertainment industry. This is because when I was that age whenever someone asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up I would say, I wanted to be a singer!
In high school I decided to compromise with them and I decided to attend a performing arts high school. I had to interview and audition to get in and was successful with that. Music was always my best subject growing up and I was always the star of my music classes in middle and elementary school so I thought I was the perfect person to attend a performing arts high school. When I arrived, I quickly learned that I wasn’t the best anymore and I was above average at most. Many of the school choirs and bands required auditions and I failed to even make some of those school choirs and bands! That was the first time reality struck me that the entertainment industry is not as easy as I thought.
By the time I was 16 I was at audition age for some entertainment companies. I auditioned but with no success. After this I started to realize that this wasn’t for me.
After that terrible audition run, my parents sat down with me again and told me to forget about this dream and to choose a “normal” major for University. When they mean normal, make sure you choose a major that can find you a decent job. These majors in their eyes were business, medicine, engineering or law. I got into a decent business school in Canada and then completed the 4 years and got my degree. I was lucky and got a job in my field shortly after I graduated as well, but that was after sending 100 applications.
So I put my entertainment dreams aside and worked hard in the corporate world. I received my accounting designation at age 23 and then shortly after that I was able to reach the 6 figure salary mark at age 24.
Since I was born in Hong Kong there is a huge beauty pageant competition called Miss Hong Kong that many people, encouraged me to apply for when I first graduated University when I was 21. These people weren’t my family, as they would not want me involved with this at all, but were friends of the family. Many Chinese-Canadian girls in the past have had much success in the past by competing in this pageant and then having incredible careers in the entertainment industry in China and Hong Kong. This has always been an idea in the back of my mind to compete however I never thought I was ready. Also I knew I would have to move back to Hong Kong when my whole family was in Canada and they would have to support me financially which would burden them. This is because I was in a lot of student debt and had no money to support myself if I moved back there. On top of that my family may not even be willing to support me for what in their eyes is a ridiculous dream. My grandma was also already in her 90’s as well and I knew I wouldn’t have time to see her much longer and unfortunately I was right. You might be like you have a ton of excuses but to me these were legitimate reasons.
This year I was 26. I knew that this was the maximum age that you could compete in this pageant. Miss Hong Kong has many local preliminary competitions in cities around the world, like New York City, Vancouver etc. so I decided to apply since this would be my last chance to apply. I knew that being 26 that would be considered old for this competition but at this point in my life I have nothing to lose. I have a good and stable job that I could always lean back on and I was starting to become financially stable.
I sent in my application and the next day I received a call for interview. I went to round one of the interviews, which had around 60 candidates. I made it through that round and then I went to the second round of interviews, which only had 20 candidates. So my chances were getting good even though I was older. I then got a call that I made it to compete in the televised finals with the top 10, however when I got the call, I was informed that I would basically have to resign my job to compete, since I was required to be available 4–5 days a week to attend rehearsals, classes and events. I thought that I only had to take a month off work or something but to resign was too much of a sacrifice. After this “final” experience I basically knew that I really shouldn’t pursue this dream any longer. I know I definitely didn’t try as hard as some people have to make it. However I made some different decisions.
The bright side to all of this….
I truly think I made some choices earlier in life that I don’t regret at all to sacrifice trying to make it in the entertainment industry. For example, staying in Canada and being with my family and choosing to start working right after school away rather than move back to Hong Kong is what I preferred.
For those of you who are in the same boat as me I encourage you to think positively about the decisions you have made in the past that caused you to not fulfill your dreams. They aren’t excuses as they are usually the right decisions in the very end!
