Amor Fati. Memento Mori. Carpe Diem
Stoicism, a school of philosophy, is as ancient as wisdom goes. You can think of it as an operating system for life, and use it to derive strength in times of your crisis, and also build strength in times of prosperity.
I was introduced to Stoicism through Tim Ferris’s podcast and through works of Ryan Holiday. As someone who prided himself in staying away from conventional big brand religions, Stoicism instantly hooked me. It was mostly because of its simplicity, practicality, and the type of people who associate themselves with it.
The previous year, I set myself up for some challenging projects. One of them was reading stoic philosophy every day and applying it in my daily life. These could be any articles I find online, some podcast I might listen to or read books such as Ego is the Enemy and Obstacle is the Way.
One of the books is The Daily Stoic, a page a day book, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it over the course of the entire year. Even while traveling on long trips, the book went alongside me in my bag. The slow, repeated and constant exposure to Stoic wisdom eventually breakthroughs you, and helps you chisel away your faults/limitations one day at a time.
Though the book has nearly 365 pages worth of reading, below are excerpts of twelve ideas I found the most powerful in some way or the other. Whether unique to my experiences or whether they present the idea in a clean and simple way, the ideas here are what I try to remind myself every day.
A. Control and Choice
The first job of a philosopher is to separate things which he can control from which he can’t control. Aka, separating the wheat from the chaff. The recovery community (people who are recovering from drug addictions etc.) practices something called the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
We control our opinion, reasoned choice, desire, aversion, and, in a word, everything of our own doing. We don’t control our body, property, reputation, position, and, in a word, everything not of our own doing.
In other words, all we have control over is our own mind. And our will.
B. The Source of Your Anxiety
“When I see an anxious person, I ask myself, what do they want? For is a person wasn’t wanting something outside of their own control, why would they be stricken by anxiety?”
As Epictetus says, it’s wanting something outside of our own control that causes our anxiety. It is as if we all belong to a religious cult that believes the gods of fate will only give us what we want if we sacrifice our peace of mind. Today, when you find yourself getting anxious, ask yourself: Why are my insides twisted into knots? Am I in control here or is my anxiety? Is my anxiety doing me any good?
C. When you lose control?
So, you messed up a little, or you messed it up a lot this time. Now what?
That doesn’t change the philosophy you know. It’s not as if your reasoned choice has permanently abandoned you. Rather it was you who temporarily abandoned it. Stop. Regain your composure. It’s waiting for you.
D. Carpe Diem
You will only get one shot at today. You have only twenty-four hours with which to take it. And then it is gone and lost forever. As Seneca says:
“Let us therefore set out whole-heartedly, leaving aside our many distractions and exert ourselves in this single purpose, before we realize too late the swift and unstoppable flight of time and are left behind. As each day arises, welcome it as the very best day of all, and make it your own possession. We must seize what flees.”
E. Guilt is worse than Jail
The greatest portion of peace of mind is doing nothing wrong.
There are immense costs of doing wrong, not only to society but to the perpetrator. The guilt is almost worse than whatever society metes out. This is why so many petty criminals confess or voluntarily surrender. They want the peace of mind that comes with doing right. And so do you.
F. Prepared and Active
Let Fate find us prepared and active. Here is the great soul: the one who surrenders to Fate. The opposite is the weak and degenerate one, who struggles with and has a poor regard for the order of the world, and seeks to correct the faults of the gods rather than their own.
Whatever happens today, let it find us prepared and active: ready for problems, ready for difficulties, ready for people to behave in disappointing or confusing ways, ready to accept and make it work for us. Let’s not wish we could turn back time or remake the universe according to our preference. Not when it would be far better and far easier to remake ourselves.
G. No Self Flagellation Needed
Marcus’s meditations are filled with self-criticism and so are the writings of other Stoics. It’s important to remember, however, that that's as far as it goes. There was no paying penance, no self-esteem issues from guilt or self-loathing. You never hear call themselves a worthless piece of crap, nor do they ever starve themselves as punishment. Their self-criticism is constructive.
There is no need to be too hard on yourself. Hold yourself to a higher standard but not an impossible one. And forgive yourself if and when you slip up.
H. Make the words your own
One of the criticisms of Stoicisms by modern translators is the amount of repetition. Marcus Aurelius, for example, has been dismissed by academics as not being original. This criticism misses the point. That’s because real philosophers weren’t concerned with authorship, only what worked. You are welcome to take all the words of the great philosophers and use them to your own liking.
The way to prove that you truly understand what you speak and write, that you truly are original, is to put them into practice. Speak them with your actions more than anything else.
I. Amor Fati
Something happened that we wish had not. Which of these is easiest to change: our opinion or the event in the past.
The answer is obvious. Accept what happened and change your wish that it had not happened. And the most practiced Stoics take it a step further. Instead of simply accepting what happens, they urge us to actually enjoy what has happened: whatever it is. Amor fati (love of fate) — it is about feeling gratitude for what happens. This is a recipe for happiness and joy.
J. Judge Not, Lest
“When philosophy is wielded with arrogance and stubbornly, it is the cause for the ruin of many. Let philosophy scrape off your own faults, rather than be a way to rail against the faults of others.”
Remember the proper direction of philosophy — of all the things we’re doing here — is focused inwards. To make ourselves better and to leave other people to that task for themselves. Our faults are in our control. Other people’s faults? Not so much.
Leave other people to their faults. Nothing in stoic philosophy empowers you to judge them — only accept them. Especially when you have so many of your own.
K. Meaningless…Like a fine wine
“You know what wine and liqueur tastes like. It makes no difference whether a hundred or a thousand bottles pass through your bladder — you are nothing more than a filter.”
As fun and exciting and pleasurable certain indulgences can be, it’s worth putting them in their place. These can be indulging in food, technology, cars etc. You don’t get a prize at the end of your life for having consumed more, worked more, spent more, collected more or learned more about various vintages than everyone else. You are just a temporary vessel that interacted with these fancy items.
L. Memento Mori
“The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.”
Think of a soldier about to leave for the war. Not knowing whether they will return or not, what do they do? They get their affairs in order. They tell their family that they love them. They don’t have time for quarreling or petty matters. And in the morning, they leave. They hope to come back in one piece but prepared for the possibility that they might not. Let us live today in the same way.
All things die. In the end, we all succumb, as Marcus said, to the rhythm of events — of which there is always a final, determined beat. There is no need to dwell on this fact, but there is no point in ignoring it either. This is Memento mori: remembering that we are mortals.
These are the twelve ideas that I find the most powerful and liberating. These surely definitely don’t cover all of the ideas, and neither is my intention. In the end, you are free to accept them or reject them. There are excellent resources available on the internet for further readings, my favorite being Tao of Seneca by Tim Ferris.
