An Open Letter to Graduating Students From an Alumni Who Has “Been There, Done That!”
It was exactly a year back.
The Dean had just announced my name. I vividly remember walking up the steps to collect my Graduation Degree. I was beaming and I could see my parents in the first row with a huge smile on their face(and some relief too, I guess).
As I held the degree in my hand, I tried to imagine my life ahead. I was going to be living in a new city, all on my own. I was in charge of the decisions, I was in charge of managing the finances and I was in charge of the way I wanted to live my life.
My school, my parents and my college had done all they could to prepare me for the real world. Now, it was up to me to go out there and make something of myself.
That was one year ago.
During the year, I tried many things. Some things that were already taught to me in theory, some things that I learned myself and some things that other people taught me.
And after trying and experimenting many things, I discovered a few fundamental truths — concepts that never change. They are mental models you can base your life on and the frameworks that guide your decision making.
In this post, I want to share these fundamental truths to all the students graduating this year.
By giving you the lessons I have learned from my own experiences one year in advance, my hope is to help you navigate one of the most exciting and important years of your lives.
So in no particular order, here it goes.
Your degree matters, but your skills will always matter more.
The first day of my new job, I met my team. There were four people in the team, coming from different backgrounds, who studied in different colleges and had different work experiences.
We were all in the same team, doing almost similar kind of work. After a month in my job, my boss happened to read one of my articles on LinkedIn.
In the next team meeting, he said,
“I think you are good at writing. I have another project for you where you can add value to the team and the organization with your writing skills.”
That’s when I learned an important lesson.
I was under the impression that my college degree would dictate my career progression and the kind of work I will do.
However, in the real world, what matters is not your college degree, but your skills and your efficiency in that skill. I realized that what made me stand out from my peers was not the name of the college that I came from, but it was my ability and expertise in a particular skill.
As students, when we graduate, quite often, we make the mistake of assuming that our college names and our degrees would justify our positions and lead our career progress.
Don’t be under that illusion.
Irrespective of your college and degree, work on developing concrete useful skills. Practice them deliberately. Become so good that they can’t ignore you.
People will only remember how you made them feel and nothing else
Another big life transition after college is going from having friends to colleagues, from teachers to bosses and from classmates to co-workers.
And your people skills will be tested.
I am sure you must have heard and read about many leadership quotes that talk about how people management is the most important skill to succeed in both personal and professional life.
The only problem is not all of us are naturally good at it.
Take it from me. I have made spectacular communication blunders in front of my bosses, my colleagues and even clients for that matter.
However, the important thing to remember is that you can always learn and get better. It’s a slow process but it is what it is.
You can go ahead and read thousands of articles and books that have been written on this topic. But let me tell you a simple practical insight that can be your North Star when it comes to people management.
“Nobody cares if you are right or wrong. Nobody cares if you did it or didn’t do it. The only thing that matters to people is how you made them feel.”
Imagine this. When was the last time somebody insulted you on your face?
Do you remember it?
I bet you do. I can also bet that what you are currently remembering is not what you did to receive that insult, but how the other person made you feel with his words.
You remember the insulting, that feeling of anger, that feeling of embarrassment, that feeling of being not good enough.
See, understand that humans are not creatures of logic, they are creatures of emotion. We feel things first and analyze them later.
So in future, when you are dealing with your boss or your colleagues, always remember that the only thing which matters is how you made them feel.
Everybody likes hanging out with someone who makes them laugh, makes them feel loved, makes them feel cared for and makes them feel great about themselves.
On the other hand, nobody likes someone who is always criticizing, complaining, pointing out mistakes, making them feel worse about themselves and being judgmental.
Your time is your most valuable asset
When we invest money in the stock market or in any other investment scheme, we check for the Return on Investment.
It makes sense because we want our wealth to increase in the future.
However, it’s surprising to see that people who are so thoughtful and efficient at planning their money are the complete opposite when it comes to planning their time.
Shouldn’t we be investing our time, our most valuable resource, in schemes and instruments that give us a better return on our investment?
Unlike the predictable reaction we have to someone who wastes money(Are you crazy?), we seem to be quite okay with wasting our time.
So, how do you ensure a higher exponential return on your investment of time?
By investing your time in activities that will be valuable and helpful to you in your future.
Some examples of this are,
- Invest your time in learning valuable skills of tomorrow
- Invest your time in nurturing and growing your relationships with friends and family
- Invest your time in passion projects and side hustles which have the potential to give you financial freedom
- Invest your time in gaining education and knowledge that will make you better equipped to deal with the problems of tomorrow
- Invest your time in your health and nutrition
Remember that your time is your most valuable asset. Be extremely strategic and particular about how you are using that asset. Because the time invested now will give you the returns for tomorrow.
There is no substitute for friends and family
The first few days of moving into a new city and joining a new job are exciting.
You will probably be living with friends or in an apartment of your own. There will be no time restrictions and no one to tell you where to put your socks. You will be earning and there will be no one to tell you what to do with your money. You will party every night, spend half of your salary within a week and dad won’t be there to tell you to be more frugal and strategic with your money. So much more of this.
This is called the Honeymoon period. It’s the best time ever.
But after this period ends, you will start missing home. You will miss your mom’s food, the familiar routine, the familiar faces, things taken care of and bills already paid for.
That’s when you will realize that you have missed your daily calls to home for a week now. That’s when you will realize that you have no idea what your college friends are up to anymore.
That realization inevitably hits. We all get a little lonely, little homesick and a little fed up of adulting.
And no amount of partying, travel or anything else will help you get over that.
So, make it a point to be in touch with your parents, your friends and everyone who you have left behind. I have learned this the hard way and I am by no means the best at this. I still miss calling and texting people.
Remember, there is no substitute for friends and family. Make it a point to be in touch with them regularly. We all need to feel loved sometimes and there is no shame in asking it.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of life lessons. These are just a few fundamental truths that I have experienced time and again in my one year after college.
Life after college is exciting but sometimes it’s also hard. I hope that these tips help you navigate adulting just like the way they have helped me.
Welcome to the real world. It sucks but you are going to love it.
