As a Child, I Was Mute, and Now My Words Are Everywhere
How I learned to feel the fear, accept it, and continue to write anyway
Lately, I’ve been in a self-reflective mood. I don’t know whether that’s the prolonged impact of lockdown and the consistent amount of free time I have or whether it’s natural in this stage of my life. As I approach my mid-twenties, I’ve been thinking a lot about personal growth and the obstacles I’ve overcome so far in my life.
A few months ago, I did something terrifying (for me) and uploaded my first YouTube video. Although my written words are all over the internet, and I don’t feel the same fear from that, there’s something so revealing about uploading a video of yourself for all the world to see. Although I was afraid, I did it anyway, and I’m glad. A secondary school teacher of mine, who I’ve remained in contact with on social media, told me something that really stuck:
“15-year-old Violet would never have imagined filming herself talking for 25 minutes for a public audience.”
And it’s so true. At that stage, I had crippling anxiety and couldn’t even talk in front of my class. I’d never raise my hand in lessons, even when I knew the answer, because of the fear of speaking, and I’d been that way ever since I was a small child. But as I’ve been in this…
