Beware the World of ‘What If’

Ah yes, the mysterious world of ‘What If.’

A place sometimes full of hope, promise and possibility.

“What if I take this opportunity and my business idea takes off?”

“What if I approach this mysterious woman and she turns out to be the person of my dreams?”

But — there’s also a dark side to the world of ‘What If.’

It can be a world brimming with emptiness, confusion and most dangerously — a world full of crippling anxiety.

We’ve all been there at some point; riddled with anxiety, attached to the idea of a certain unfavorable outcome.

A seemingly harmless ‘what if’ can spontaneously take hold, and act us a breeding ground for other negative thoughts. It’s can be a contagious virus that spreads its tentacles throughout the mind, forcing us to try and solve problems that haven’t even manifested yet!

The problem is, your imagination knows no bounds, the power of the human mind is so strong, that we can actually convince ourselves these terrible things are going to happen.

It can push people away, cause you to lose sight of who you are, and most dangerously — it can sometimes actually cause some of these ‘what ifs’ to come to fruition, creating self-fulfilling prophecies.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to live too much of my life on the dark side of ‘what if.’

What if I never grow & improve?

What if she does this?

What if he says that?

What if I fail?

‘What if’ causes us to construct wild dark fantasies, and may force us to act on these thoughts. This can create a pattern of intrusive negative thinking that can prove to be detrimental for our mental health.

Remaining stuck in ‘what ifs’ prevent us from being fully present. This can then lead us to get into a cycle of negative thinking, causing us to lose sight of all the things in our life that we should be grateful for, the good things in our lives that make us happy.

So how do we prevent ourselves from going down the ‘what if’ rabbit hole? It’s not easy, it takes work — daily work to retrain our brains.

One action we can take to let go of negative thoughts, is to practice mindfulness. This means paying attention to our thoughts when they arise, making an effort to recognize and acknowledge them, but not attaching an emotion to them.

That way, when a ‘what if’ thought arises, we can recognize that it is there, but consciously decide not to entertain that thought, and allow it to pass.

Letting go of those thoughts gives us peace and freedom and allows us to sink into the here and now. It allows us to be present instead of second guessing the past and fearing the future.

Another tip for preventing ‘what if’ thinking, is to exercise compassionate self-awareness. You must always be compassionate with yourself, embrace your thoughts with kindness and self-awareness to give them the space to transform on their own. Berating yourself will only exacerbate the negative thoughts and diminish your self-esteem.

If you put these things into practice and come out the other side, we realize these fantasies in our head were merely just that — fantasies. Created by our minds to try and protect us from a potential outcome, an outcome that probably won’t even materialize!

So be mindful of the direction your thoughts lead you, and choose peace when you can.