Can You Define Who You Are?
A story to remember
The smell of the dark, still untasted coffee, my parents chattering at the kitchen, the mellow sun collecting back its rays. — “Perfect Sunday afternoon”, I thought, with my 7-year old mind. A Disney movie was about to fulfil my blissful state. I was going through all the videotapes when I suddenly stopped — “Lion King, that’s my pick”, I whispered enthusiastically. I had already watched the movie a couple of times, but I was still blown away. Who could blame me anyway?
As expected, I went through the drama once again, when Mufasa, Simba’s dad, died for not fully convincing reasons; leaving his son helpless and all alone. Simba’s adventurous life continued, with him evolving from a lion-cub to a full-adult lion.
It was towards the end of the movie when Rafiki, the wise babοοn, re-appeared. He was in an extremely cheerful mood, mumbling and singing in Swahili. Simba was losing his interest, and his patience, so he was about to leave when suddenly the baboon said: — “Your father Simba! He is alive”.
Simba startled. — I startled.
My heart was pounding, full of hopes and joy. “Is he alive?” I asked my mom, trying to convince myself to forget what already knew. She didn’t respond.
Simba was following Rafiki who was running through the jungle. They ended up in a big opening, where Simba was urged to look carefully at a pond. He saw his reflection; then Mufasa’s reflection.
Seconds later, Mufasa appeared as a vision in the sky. Stardust and clouds were delineating his figure. Simba’s face softened, his voice trembled. -“Father” he cried. While I, as well, was sobbing silently.
I was deeply expecting his father to compensate for all the time missing. I was expecting words full of love and reassurance. I was expecting something like “Simba, I love you, I miss you!” Instead, I was stunned by his rigid, imperative tone:
-“Simba! You have forgotten me” he stated, “You have forgotten who you are, so you have forgotten me.
Look inside yourself Simba, you are more than what you have become..”
He was fading away, turning into thick air, whilst echoing:
“Remember who you are”
Simba was chasing the soulless clouds begging his father not to leave him.
And myself? I had left in great awe, with tears drying out on my chubby cheeks.
Who are you and how could you forget?
That day, I realised that I am. I exist. And I didn’t know how to handle the burden of the responsibility. I didn’t know who or what I was, or even how to find out.
Who you are is difficult to define. Although you consist of yourself, you don’t really know what yourself exactly consists of. There are various aspects and parts of our conscious and unconscious being, tangled into a phenomenic unity. We all carry and have embodied a pile of experiences, memories and feelings that day by day reshape the fluid parts of our identity.
The metaphorically speaking fluid parts of our self, get fewer as we grow, explaining why as children we were open to any kind of information or experience. Those become more and more concrete because life happens and we get scared and/or hurt. We thus need to find ways of coping and stick with them, regardless of any misjudgments about self and others so we can move on.
Based on a past misconception that becomes a present established truth, we protect ourselves from a future threat. This is how we do our best to adapt to a self-perceived reality.
To optimise the process of thinking and ultimately of acting, it is necessary to jump into conclusions. It is time-efficient and energy-saving. However, there are moments in which pausing to reconsider if one’s state/location/belief is still the one representative, is crucial. It might be not.
Leaving without confronting, compromising instead of doubting, choosing fear over potential, won’t make you, you.
We have the option to walk new pathways and enter a new perspective on coping and ultimately living. Even a perspective that coping won’t be necessary anymore. Evidenced also as neuroplasticity — brain’s ability to reorganize itself with new neural connections, we are fluid. But we do stuck. Because we keep repeating outdated beliefs and act upon them without taking into account the potential for new identities and new realities. New realities awaiting to be grasped.
You might find yourself undermining or “forgetting” what can be reached or attained. Setting boundaries and restrictions built up with layers of “I can’t” and “this is who I am”.
It might be the case that this is not who you are.
Find out.
“Not being you will destroy you” — Tim Dennings
