Confessions of a Modern Mystic
There’s seems to be a recurring pattern in my life where I would receive a moment of divine inspiration and intuition sending me down one path only to find out eventually what it actually means.
That’s how I stumbled upon the path of a Mystic…
Some people say you are born a Mystic and that you either are or are not. I’m not so sure about that. Since a young kid ,I knew that I would have some sort of affinity with spirituality and pursuing the divine. But I thought maybe in my old age or when I’m retired. I thought I would be like most people who work hard to earn their house, car and material livings and do charity volunteering or occasionally reading some scriptures to cultivate myself.
Little did I know, my life was to take a drastic turn when I became increasing ill around the age of 29, I began searching for alternative healing and eventually started learning qigong. This opened up the world of energy and energy healing practices and even began meditative practices and working with spiritual beings in my quest of self healing.
By my 33rd birthday, I’ve gone through multiple transmutations of my self and addressed a lot of the core issues that plagued my life — things like letting go, anger towards home and health circumstances, external expectations and judgments, fears and much more This process brought me back into the light and love of the universe.
The Tipping Point
The summer of my 33rd birthday, I suddenly had a few revelations which completely altered the course of my life and my understanding of life itself. Since the loss of my sight in my teens, I’ve always had this compulsory feeling of “I have to help people, minimize suffering, and make myself useful in this world.” It was embedded deep within my sense of identity and as a result, pushed and pushed myself to make money so that I can have the resources and ability to help more people. But that summer, I finally understood, I realized I didn’t have to do anything, that everything was my choice and what I believed to be true was just a reaction of me trying to compensate for my own self worth. I finally reached a point where I was truly happy with myself and not just ok. I was able to re-establish my own worth outside of saving people, I no longer needed to play the martyr.
Fresh Slate….. What do you do when you don’t need to do anything?
Our society is bombarded with capitalistic consumerism where people are told to buy to be happy. Buy food, buy clothes, buy travel experiences. But there’s a deep knowing within, there’s something bigger than anyone individual to life itself. Don’t get me wrong, I love the finer things in life, but I am not compelled to have to buy things, another words, I can choose to spend very little or a lot and can be ok with either lifestyle.
If not consumerism, then what? I wondered, if I don’t buy into the culture of the fancy cars, big house and endless wardrobe and things, what its it reality I value? After a bit of soul searching, with some divine inspiration and self reflection, I began to see the bigger picture of time, of love, and of truth.
EVERYTHING I I knew changed…
An understanding of the inter-connectivity of the universe. A mix of quantum mechanics and it’s relationship to the collective consciousness or the Divine Love. Understanding that our paths already laid clearly our destination as a species, the only variable left is the course history will take and how long it is until humanity truly evolve into our highest knowing and reunite to embody the fullest expression of Divine Love - beyond the physical, past the material realm, and ultimately the return to Source.
As you’re reading this, you may be thinking “this is all too sci- fi for me” to say the least. But if you’re willing to step outside of what you think you know and keep an open mind, you may just learn to see possibilities in the bigger picture of things.
So what happens now….?
Having had momentary experiences of a blissful serenity in my meditation where I felt connected with something greater. I realized that the connection to the divine is our way to free ourselves of the limitations we face as human beings — fears, pride, isolation, a never ending search for more. Everything we think we want that might gives us happiness eventually becomes another fleeting moment. We continue to pursue more to fill that everlasting void and is forever trapped in the paradox of fleeting happiness and dissatisfaction. Only in those moments where we surrender ourselves and connect to something greater, we will find true peace and love — at least this is what I believe.
I decided to test the limits of my belief. I threw away all the things we are told that would bring s success and happiness and put myself in the hands of God. (or a higher power, whatever you’d like to call it)
For starters, I set my life’s purpose with the intention to embodying this greater love and speak the truth as I understand it. Sounds simple right? Not quite… as part of this process, I have to let go and dissolve ego as I know it.
Why, you ask? Our egos often sees things from the perspective of I and forget that there’s a greater connection beyond the self. It creates the illusion of separation which is the reason why we feel so alone and search for connection. When we learn to align our own ego with the intentions of this higher consciousness, we realize we are a part of a greater whole and the illusion of separation is lifted. Another words, my life becomes a series of unknown experiences that I have little control or influence over. I become the vessel that experiences things as they occur and my will is to embrace and understand myself through these events.
All sense of time, goals and planning will be left to the universe and I become the vessel in which these experiences manifests through. I receive guidance and intuition through the unconscious and have to learn to trust these intuition without judgment. Everyday is the trust in the higher intentions and follow the flow and intuitions whereever it takes me.
It’s not as random as it sounds but definitely can be unpredictable at times. I do have an idea of the general direction things are going in so on most days, its just about carrying out the day to day activities while leaving room to receive and reflect. The key is to be always listening and synchronicity will fall into our path.
It’s only when I started walking this path that I learned about Mysticism. Like many other things in my life, my experiences precedes the theory or definition.
What it feels like to be a mystic?
It’s both liberating and terrifying at the same time. Perhaps for some its easier to surrender and go with the flow, but for me, I’ve always lived life in a relatively controlled manner — goals, plans, timelines and directions. Not to mention the leaving of comforts and financial secure job and trying to pursue this path of unknown while incurring debt and burning through savings. It’s not for the faint of hearts.
In a way, a Mystic walks the path contradicting society as we know it and logic as we understand it. It’s based on a non-linear idea that is connected to a greater vision which is often beyond our human capacity to understand and see. Tremendous trust and faith is needed because otherwise, fear and doubt will overtake your consciousness.
Some people will say, but you can try to transition into it rather than jumping in head first.
The truth is, I’m not so sure if I can. To truly understand the essence of the universe, the ego needs to let go and trust in the guidance from the divine. To trust and overcoming the insecurities perhaps is part of the test in this path. For anything less than this, would be turning my back on the truth I have come to understand.
Understand that your experiences are meant for you to grow from and an attempt to control experiences through the ego contradicts this very path of the Mystic. Perhaps I’m too polarized in a way., but I also know for me, having one foot in and one foot out means I’ll always be second guessing more than fully immersed in the experience.
To me, a Mystic life means walking a path and surrendering to the non linear path guided by a higher power. This path is unique to everyone as each person’s fears, expressions, perspectives are uniquely their own. But the universal theme behind a Mystic is the same, a path that will lead you to confronting yourself through your experiences and interactions. All things are a reflection of us and it’s up to us to objectively mindful in making conscious choices.
Take it one day at a time. True Love will bring you abundance.
