Creating Your Wolfpack

Growing up I didn’t have many friends, mainly acquaintances, and most certainly not many people were close to me. I'm not sure if this was due to my lack of being interesting, low self confidence, unruly personality, or all three, but thankfully those days are in the past and I now have some of the greatest friends a guy could ask.

Sure, I have people that don’t like me, probably some that even hate my guts. I also have people that really, I mean REALLY like me. (One of these days I will tell you the story about the guy who offered to take me to Vegas and pay for my bachelor party. I knew him for 1 hour…) For the most part, this kind of stuff is not uncommon. You will have those that like you and those that don’t like you. Those that hate you and those that love you. I have realized that the older I get, the better I am at attracting worthwhile people into my life and separating myself from those that don’t deserve my time.

So what changed from when I was growing up to now?

~I discovered me~

I know, this sounds super cliche and I’m sure you have read all about being “authentic”(#businessbuzzwordoftheyear), but what in the hell does that actually mean?

Being the obsessive and compulsive person that I am, I have been able to dissect my actions over the last 15 years and uncover the top 3 things I can attribute to my ability to attract great people.

1. Being comfortable with who you are
2. Learning how to spend your time wisely
3. Being thoughtful

Being Comfortable with Who You Are

This one is probably the most difficult to come to terms with. People spend their lifetimes trying to figure out who they actually are and being comfortable with themselves. What I have learned to do is embrace what makes me who I am.

I’m weird and have a disgusting sense of humor. I like deep psychology and analyzing everything. These attributes drive some people crazy and turn a good amount of people away from me. Good. Because that is exactly what I want. I realize this and let this act as a natural filter for people. If someone can appreciate that they have made it through the first gate.

Learning How to Spend Your Time Wisely

Time is precious and very limited, so choosing where to allocate your most cherished resource should always be on your mind. Take some time, pun intended, to think about what matters most to you and prioritize those people or things.

If someone doesn’t like me I don’t dwell on it. I move on and think, I’m glad I was able to uncover that now so I don’t waste any of my precious (use you best Smeagol voice)on them. Equally understand where you should be devoting more time.

Be Thoughtful

I recently wrote an article on the small, yet highly important things in life (read HERE) that I focus on. This is a result of being thoughtful and goes a very long way.

I’m good at being an asshole, but I’m REALLY great at being kind and letting people know they mean something to me. It makes me happy to see people happy and I am always thinking of ways to make people smile.

Conclusion

There are plenty of ways to be liked and have friends, but that isn’t my goal. I don’t just want friends, I want people that are part of my wolfpack and will go to bat for me anyday of the week.

P.S. If you have advice that has helped you discover true friendships, please comment below. And as always, if you enjoyed this article please show me some love ❤

Feel free to follow me on Instagram @ shane_burgman or FB @ shaneburgman.

THANKS FOR READING!