Dear “other relevant majors”
Today is the day! Your first career fair of senior year. The nervous energy is high, resumes are printed, and your outfit is business-casual (-so-I-can-still-wear-it-to-class-after) perfection. You’ve accomplished so much in the last three years, and you’re ready to take on this perfect year, one career fair and one memorable moment at a time.
As you get ready to leave your dorm, you take one last look in the mirror to make sure not a single hair is out of place, even though we both know your intelligence is the star today. You planned to meet up with some of your friends to head over to the career fair together, and you see them waiting for you outside, all dressed to perfection. The nerves are really settling in now, and you shoot your friends a timid smile as you recount the number of resumes you carry in your arms. 10. Perfect.
As you and your friends make the short journey to the sea of tables set up by each company, assaulted by waves of other unemployed-hopefuls, you can hardly hear what your friend, Susie, just said over the roar of your own racing heartbeat. This is it. This is where you’ll figure out what your future will look like. This is where dreams are achieved, should you be so lucky. You hear your name and realize Susie is asking you a question.
“Sorry, what was that?” you ask.
“Did you hear about John and Steven? They already got interview offers. They think it’s because they were here right when the beginning, but we all know it’s because their majors are so marketable and they’re, like, perfect humans. I mean, who wouldn’t want a C.S. and psychology major?”
My heart skips a beat. People were already had interviews? The career fair only started an hour ago. How is that possible? Would there be any space left for the rest of us? For me?
Suddenly, the excitement of future possibilities turns to dread. I am not a C.S. major, nor am I a psychology major. I am not even apart of the marketable, “main stream” major group like my friends. I am apart of the “other relevant majors” category which everyone knows is just something companies write on their websites to seem “inclusive”. Why, oh God, why did I even come to this career fair? I might as well accept the fact that I’ll be unemployed forever…
STOP. There are so many things WRONG with this narrative. (Like what, you ask?) Let me tell you.
Stop comparing your life to others.
It is about the most counterproductive path you can take. You are you. They are them. He is him. And she is her. Let it go. Oscar Wilde says it best, “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.” The more you compare yourself to others (and yes, this goes beyond just comparing your major), the less happy you are because you will NEVER be anyone else. It is impossible. Sure, you can change, you can grow, heck! You can do whatever you want (although I would emphasize legality and common sense here). But, the thing that will never change is it is YOU changing, growing, and doing what you will. Y-O-U. Don’t ever forget the power you have over your own happiness.
Perfection doesn’t exist.
Notice how many times “perfect” and “perfection” were used in that narrative? About 5 times (if you count the implied one, too). That’s about 5 times too many, if you ask me. Perfection is not a goal, nor is it even a compliment. It is literally defined as being without any flaws. Think of the best person you know? Are they truly without flaws? No? Didn’t think so. That doesn’t meant they’re any less of a person, it just means they’re (*drumroll please*) HUMAN. David D. Burn’s, a psychology professor at Stanford University once said,
“Perfection is man’s greatest illusion. It simply doesn’t exist in the universe…If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in everything you do.”
I am not a huge fan of being called a loser, but I know I certainly am not doing myself any favors by trying to make everything perfect. Life isn’t perfect. The sooner we accept this, we can start enjoying the beautiful diaster it is. The greatest gift you can give yourself is the ability to laugh at yourself. If you can’t do that yet, don’t worry. It takes time. But, taking yourself too seriously hinders happiness. So, laugh a little today and remember: Perfection is an illusion.
Neither do limits.
Similar to perfection, limitation is an ILLUSION. I have this friend, and she is the person I think of when I do the little “perfection doesn’t exist” exercise above. Think of your beautifully imperfect person again. Now, ask yourself what it is that make you think they’re perfect? For me, I think my friend is “perfect” because she never limits herself or what she can do. Like, I mean never. Her self-confidence, diligence, and perseverance, especially in the face of adversity, (and like a million other amazing qualities) are nothing short of admirable. But, it is her ability to transcend the concept of limiting oneself that is absolutely f***ing mind blowing. She truly inspires me everyday to not only believe in myself, but to get out of my own way. So, don’t get in your own way by belittling your accomplishments, your major, your lifestyle, your anything. You’re awesome. Own it.
Pressure is not a choice. Stress is a choice.
Ever felt pressured by your friends to do something? Ever felt pressure to meet a deadline? Ever felt like your “plate” was “too full”? Welcome to the glorious world of external pressures we all live in!
If this is all pressure, then what is stress?
I’m glad you asked! Stress is the internalization of pressure. Input = pressure; output = stress. An easy way to think about it is pressure is an external force out of your control, whereas stress is the reaction you have to that pressure. For example, if your super tired but your friends are begging you to go out on the town with them, you’re experiencing pressure. You cannot control that your friends are not also going to bed when you are, nor can you control that they want to go out on the town. If you decide to go out with them because #FOMO, you have now created stress. If you decide to go to bed / go out with them because it is the best thing for you, you have successfully difused the pressure bomb. Pass go and collect $200.
(Also, don’t let the pressure of career fairs mess you up — life and success are not made at college career fairs. Although they can be! Just relax and be yourself. You will find a job, a career, a purpose, a calling, a whatever you need!)
So, to all my “other relevant majors” comrades, don’t worry. We are going to be just fine. And to all my “listed majors” comrades, you’re going to be fine, too. Life is too short for college seniors to spend their last year in college letting pressure be turned into stress, setting limits on themselves and their abilities, striving for perfection, and comparing themselves and their journeys to that of their peers. My mom once told me life is like a treadmill you can never really get off (except for vacation). Rather than trying to sprint until you get exhausted and hurt yourself falling off the treadmill, walk at the brisk pace it has set. You can walk for a lot longer than you can run. Cheers to senior year, to “other relevant majors” and “listed majors”, to career fair season (aka football season), and to walking.🍻
