Don’t Sweat Midlife Crisis — Just Have An Affair To Get Over It
Just not the kind you read in the press
I have a beef with the term ‘midlife crisis’ to start with. Our good old Wikipedia defines midlife crisis as ‘ a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45–64 years old.’
My issue with the definition is not about ‘identity and self-confidence’ but about ‘middle-aged’ and about ‘45–64 years’. I believe that a midlife crisis can descend upon us during any time of our lives and is not just confined to some ill-defined middle-age of about 45–64 years.
Midlife Crisis In High School
I had my first midlife crisis that I could remember during my senior year in high school. Utter lack of confidence and zero identity as I was about to transition to college. That was when I had my first ‘affair’ to get over this midlife crisis. I know what you are thinking. I was probably romantically involved with someone who helped me get over this crisis. Nah, that is not the affair I am talking about. I am talking about a business ‘affair.’ I accidentally stumbled into a tutoring business.
I was good at math and I helped some of my classmates and juniors with math over a period of time. it gradually evolved into a small-time tutoring business. This intense and all-consuming tutoring ‘affair’ on the side isolated me from my usual struggles with ‘identity and confidence’ and helped me tide over my high school midlife crisis.
Midlife Crisis in College
My next significant mid-life crisis came upon me after my college education and during the initial years of my first job. I began to realize that I had very little interest in the area I majored in and the work I was given based on my major. My identity and confidence took a beating with the thought that I wasted all those years of education and the dreadful feeling that I may have to toil in a field that I have no interest in.
That was when I had an ‘affair’ with computers. It all started with a casual conversation with a friend after work. I started spending my evenings and weekends learning about computers and programming and this intense ‘affair’ with computers helped me transcend this ‘early’ midlife crisis.
A More Recent Midlife Crisis
My most recent mid-life crisis and my ‘affair’ during that time helped me become a full-time entrepreneur and much more. After many years of a fulfilling career, my most recent midlife crisis started with what I thought was a vacuous ‘identity’ and an intense desire to fulfill a ‘personal legend.’ On top of it, the technological innovation out in the world seemed to be happening at a much faster pace than where I was working and I felt that I needed to participate in that innovation first hand.
During that time, I happened to read an article in Entrepreneur magazine about a young man who bought a domain, built a website, dished out advice on ‘how to make money online’ and fulfilled his dreams of making an impact. Thus began my ‘affair’ with buying domains, building websites and monetizing with those websites. I remember spending countless evening and weekend hours learning new technologies and experimenting. My new ‘affair’ got me out of these midlife doldrums and paved a path for me to become a full-time entrepreneur.
What type of an affair do you want?
Sure, nowadays we read many stories about people having ‘affairs’ to get through their midlife crises. And almost all of them are about romantic affairs and majority of them are of course secret and unethical affairs while they are still married to their spouses. My ‘affairs’ are of a different kind and harmless but nonetheless very exciting affairs that helped me navigate these turbulent times. I am better off because of these affairs and I am sure I’ll have many more of these kinds of affairs.
So my sincere advice based on my experience is ‘Don’t sweat midlife crisis. Just have an affair instead to get over it.’
So what are the affairs that you are proud of?
