Don’t Tell Me to Meditate
“If you’re not meditating, you’re doing it wrong.” This is a common theme in pretty much every podcast, blog, and and book related to self-improvement that I come across. The problem is it’s boring and after trying it many times, I don’t feel any better for it. That is in the traditional sense of meditation. I’m all about re-framing your mindset, but I can honestly say sitting with my eyes closed pursuing zen, calmness, relaxation, or whatever kids are calling it nowadays, doesn’t do much for me. It has nothing to do with distractions, I have no problem shutting my brain off when I want, but it just is not very appealing.
If you feel the same and are wondering if something is wrong that you haven’t achieved the ability to sit and attain enlightenment, you probably are doing it wrong, because maybe you shouldn’t be meditating.
This isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with it, obviously many people have found benefit in it and that’s amazing, I just have a distaste for things that become a ‘known key for success’ meaning that if you’re not doing it, you’re failing. So instead of focusing on the ingredient, think about the result that you want.
Why do people meditate? Meditating is to think deeply or focus one’s mind for a period of time, in silence or with the aid of chanting, for religious or spiritual purposes or as a method of relaxation. The important elements are focusing one’s mind as a method of relaxation. This is the general purpose of meditation and it says nothing about the requirement to sit cross-legged and repeat Ohms. It’s intended as the practice of re-framing one’s mindset in order to be more relaxed and make better decisions and take better actions in life. It requires the removal of factors that are preventing or distracting you from moving forward. It doesn’t matter the method you use to achieve this, as long as it works.
I have personally found there’s a number of ways to do this, but I use something called the void. Imagine you are surrounded by a space of complete darkness or light (I’ve found both to work equally well) devoid of anything besides yourself. It’s like a personal bubble that allows nothing inside. I have complete control over this space and nothing can affect me unless I allow it too. For me this has worked incredibly well. I am constantly using this image throughout my day when situations or people try to distract me or influence me in a negative way. It reminds me that I have complete control over the situation and I can respond however I would like, devoid of extrinsic factors.
So I guess you could say that I’m meditating all day every day, it just looks much different than the traditional, or should I say trendy, method. You won’t find me sitting for extended periods trying to force my thoughts down or remove distractions. I’ll be moseying through life, constantly deciding what I allow to affect my decisions and happiness on a case by case basis.
This is not intended to be negative against meditation. I think it’s great that it has helped a lot of people and I encourage people to try it if you haven’t. Though if you have tried it and are wondering if there’s something wrong with you because it doesn’t seem to work, maybe it’s the method that’s not getting results. Think about what you are trying to accomplish and find a practice or time when you are most focused. Maybe it’s work, play, exercise, time with friends and family. The important aspect is improving your ability to live your life based solely on intrinsic motivations. This is the key to meditation, regardless of how you get there. So focus on simply re-framing your mindset, and stop feeling guilty if you’re not in the ‘meditation club’.
