Embracing My Blackness in a Deeply White World
Growing up in Africa, the only colour I saw around me was black. I saw white people around too but they were few and far between. Most African countries are almost 100% black populated.
Seeing the world through the lens of my small town did help my brewing inferiority complex a lot, as we were made to believe that white people are next to God. Everything good is created by the white man and everything bad is made by the black man.
Education is an eye-opener; and good education is a telescope. Thankfully through the help of good books, I was able to take a closer look at this white world from my little African cave and learn a lot of things.
I learned that white people are in fact everything but gods. They have weaknesses and frailties just like every human and the black man is not the creator of bad things.
Education is an eye-opener; and good education is a telescope.
Another one of the many thing I learned about is the harsh reality of racism. I found it hard to believe- and I still do- as I thought it was just unimaginable that someone would be discriminated against based on the colour of their skin.
You know how they say that the knowledge you acquire from books are limited but experience is the best teacher? Yes. Nothing could be more factual.
The only education about racism I got was from books and movies and I was still having doubts in my mind because I found the concept extremely hard to comprehend.
Many of my friends and my brother soon moved to the west. One of the things I always wanted to ask them about was if racism was that rampant.
It’s almost like they just chose to tell me what I wanted to hear. They said it was very rare and even close to non-existent. So, deeper and deeper, I drowned myself in the false waters of self-deception. Racism does not exist.
Another throwback to my early years growing up. White skin was often more celebrated. It was not uncommon to see people bleach their skins just to look at little more white.
The colour of beauty you would often see on TV was mostly of whites or the lighter shade of black. In fact, I remember times that people insulted me and were like “you’re so black”. Almost like being black was something to feel bad about. (Yet, I still found a way to tell myself that racism was a thing of the past. It no longer existed.)
White skin was often more celebrated. It was not uncommon to see people bleach their skins just to look at little more white.
That however didn’t really affect me much, especially as I grew older and I learned to love myself better. I also learned that the colour of your skin or the way you look is just 1% of the puzzle that forms you. The real you is the one inside you. So, physical appearance or skin colour was the least of my worries
Fast forward to my current life. I moved to Ireland in my twenties and began interacting with people. First thing that struck me was the fact that nobody in my neighbourhood looked like me. It was totally fine though. Racism no longer exists.
Then in my school, I noticed that no lecturer looked like me. Everyone was white. I look at the high-flyers in society, everyone was white. All the top politicians and business people. All one singular colour.
I had a job that involved me going to several top companies around the city. I probably visited over 50 companies in corporate Ireland. Tech, pharmaceuticals, engineering, etc.
I look at the high-flyers in the society, everyone was white. All the top politicians and business people. All one singular colour.
However, one thing that remained consistent was that all the top executives and top folks in the companies were 99.9% white. Now, I don’t have a problem with everyone in the top executives of a company being of the same skin colour. I am not also one of those who cry for inclusion all-day
However, when I went to the warehouses, restaurants and many similar low paying jobs, a huge population of the staff were black. Also again, I am not trying to discountenance anyone’s job. I worked in those jobs too.
What I am saying is this. A lot of black people are going to college (my college class had almost more blacks than whites), a lot of black people are coming out with good grades, a lot of black people are putting in the work at their workplaces, a lot of black people are hustling. However, why is it that we’re not making it to the top of the ladder?
Once again, I refuse to be among those who cry “discrimination” and “racism” all-day. However, I also refuse to close my eyes to the fact that it’s almost like people like me get sidelined somewhere in the middle, as we grapple with the ladder that leads to the top of our industries and professions.
I refuse to be silent about the issues that keep plaguing our society. While I would not outrightly agree that my society is a racist one, I would say that we are not far from that at all.
I was in conversation with one of some of my friends the other day when one of them was talking about his interest in joining the Garda (the police force). Then everyone laughed at him and they were like, “have you ever seen a black person among them”.
While I would not outrightly agree that my society is a racist one, I would say that we are not far from that at all.
That was the first time I actually realised that I have never seen anyone of my skin colour in the police force here. Once again, I refuse to call Ireland a racist society.
I know people who have amazing educational qualifications as well as experience but somehow, they just never seem to get their foot in the door when it comes to the big and high-paying roles, so they have to settle for less. Once again, I refuse to call Ireland a racist country.
When I talk to other people of colour like myself, it seems in a sense like, the reality is that, we as black people also have to work 2 or 3 times as hard as our white counterparts, just to get our foot in the door.
Nevertheless, when we get in, we’re almost made to feel like we were just allowed in to help them tick a box. Then we are lifted up like a trophy, to serve as their claim to inclusion and diversity in the workplace.
So, anytime I see an opportunity around, anytime I see a job that I am qualified for, I always ask have to ask myself several questions before applying.
When I talk to other people of colour like myself, it seems in a sense like, the reality is that, we as black people also have to work 2 or 3 times as hard as our white counterparts, just to get our foot in the door.
Would they read my name and throw my CV out? If I’m given the role or opportunity, would it be just for the purpose of ticking a box?
Yes, I know that I’m good at what I do but how am I sure that the person on the decision table is good enough? Good enough to look beyond barriers of culture or race and focus on the real qualifications that make a person qualified.
Till the day I meet my ancestors, I will forever embrace my blackness in this unpleasantly white world.
If most of the other well-educated and intelligent people of colour who came before me are still stuck in those low-paying jobs, what is the evidence that I would be an exception?
However, once again, I refuse to describe my society as a racist one. I choose to not lose hope. I choose to keep sharpening my skills. I choose to keep reaching out for opportunities. I choose to stay positive. Most importantly, I choose to embrace my blackness in this “white world”.
That is where I find my uniqueness. That is where I find my true strength. Black don’t crack is what our mamas said to us. They went through worse to get us the little we have now, so if they didn’t crack despite all of that, I’m sure I won’t crack either.
So, till the day I meet my ancestors, I will forever embrace my blackness in this unpleasantly white world.
