Embracing Uncertainty: The Key to Innovation and Growth?
A beloved friend once said something to me that revolutionised my entire outlook on life.
She said, “The only things you suck at are the ones you haven’t tried yet.”
I know she probably said this out of love and her endless faith in me, but it got me thinking. Until that moment, I had lived my life convinced that there were certain things I couldn’t do (and that that’s okay). Some of them, off the top of my head, were acting, swimming, cycling, and adventure sports. I lived a life built around a list of handicaps, and while they did not exactly determine the course of my life, they certainly served as obstacles.
I’m guessing none of this is news for you. You likely have your own list of limiting beliefs too.
But, you see, that’s exactly what they are — limiting “beliefs,” not “limits,” as you and I are used to thinking of them.
Limiting Beliefs — real or imagined?
Come to think of it, limiting beliefs are really just abstract notions our minds concoct to keep us from trying new things. They are a sign of lack of faith in our limits and incapabilities. A limiting belief only turns into an actual limit once we’ve tried our hand at a new thing and found ourselves truly incapable at it.
Sounds pretty basic, but the world would literally turn around if more people understood the line between limits and limiting beliefs.
I know not everyone has the gift of gab or a good voice or rhythm. Not everyone is a born orator, singer, dancer, or writer. Most of us aren’t born with any obvious gift at all. But whoever said you can’t cultivate a talent or learn a new skill? Life isn’t a movie. Things don’t just get handed to you. So how exactly will you find out what you are really good at if you never tried your hand at enough things?
Unless you’ve given something a try, you have no way of knowing whether you’re good at it, or you suck. But that latter half is where the whole truth of the human race lies.
People are afraid of failure
It’s true: you and I, we are all afraid of not being good enough. And it is this fear of failing that keeps us from trying new things, scary things, exciting things. Because, “what if I failed?”
We want to look good in front of our peers, superiors, and juniors. We want to impress our friends, family, and relatives. We want to put our best foot forward in everything we do. Nobody plays a game to lose. Nobody wants to be caught in their worst moments. Is it any wonder that ‘candid photography’ has come to mean carefully and painstakingly created pictures to reflect all the ‘right’ emotions?
Ask yourself this: if you have a fall in the street or spill a drink on yourself, would you attend to the situation at hand right away, or would you first look around to figure out if anyone saw it?
We all know the answer to that one.
The urge to look our best at all times is a side effect of the hyper-connected social world we inhabit, and it has turned us into a stress-ridden species. We don’t want to be seen failing. So we choose not to try. We stick with what’s familiar and comfortable. People stay on in stagnant jobs for years because they’re afraid of risking comfort for uncertainty. People find it hard to change their trade despite deep dissatisfaction with their work, because they’re afraid of trying new fields, learning new skills.
Uncertainty breeds fear, and fear reinforces status quo. It’s a universal truth that has been exploited by political rulers across space and time to govern the world. But, somehow, we still refuse to see it.
One question always lingers at the back of every mind: “What if it didn’t work out?”
Out beyond limiting beliefs lies freedom
If you think a limiting belief can only affect one aspect of your life, you’re mistaken. A single negative belief about yourself can very often determine your personality traits, the way you interact with the world, even the entire course of your life. And you won’t even figure it out until it’s too late.
I spent my entire life afraid of physical adventure, owing partly to a chubby childhood and partly to a long-standing ankle injury I contracted much later. Every time I’d consider doing anything strenuous, like going on a hike or joining a walking tour, my family would remind me of my physical constraints and history of injuries. At first I didn’t consider the injury a major constraint — it was just a sprain — but over time and several reminders, the belief that I am physically incapable got nailed into my head.
It didn’t take me long to start avoiding physical activity all on my own, which led to weight gain, poor health, and even poorer self-worth. Over the course of a decade, my physical weakness came to define me.
Lucky for me, in the throes of a personal crisis a couple of years ago, I convinced myself to face one of my biggest fears.
In a desperate hope to get out of my funk, I signed up for an adventure trip to the Himalayas. The week-long affair included trekking up and down a snowy mountain, some hiking, some alpine skiing, and white water rafting. The thought of trying out even one of these activities terrified me (my parents even more so). I felt like giving up at the very first sign of discomfort each time. But I persevered (mostly to save face in front of friends).
When it was over, I discovered what true freedom felt like. I had finally been liberated from a limiting belief that had held me in its iron grip for my entire adult life. It was a miracle.
For several months after that trip, it felt like I was walking on air. I began to believe I could do anything, achieve anything. The feeling lasted a long time and gave me what I can only call a new lease of life.
I now know what my friend’s words really meant: Nothing in this world is truly out of my reach if I give it a fair try and keep at it in the face of uncertainty.
Which brought me to one of my life’s biggest realisations.
Embracing uncertainty: the road to success
That tiny victory up in the mountains made me understand I was not afraid of adventure but of uncertainty. It spurred me on to a journey of challenging all my fears and limiting beliefs. Now, every time I have a new idea, plan a new project, or brainstorm, I keep a look out for signs of fear or negativity. If I find myself saying “this is not possible” or “I/we cannot do this” or “let’s start small and see how it goes”, I stop to remind myself that nothing is impossible.
Negative thoughts and the fear response are innate compulsions, and they are stronger in some of us than others. But you have to keep telling yourself:
Out beyond uncertainty lies great learning, and from that learning springs success.
The first step towards growth is giving up the urge to achieve perfection in the first go. Because, as they say, fall down seven times, stand up eight. It’s how you scale mountains, and it’s how you achieve real growth (perhaps even greatness).
