Facing Giants

We’ve all been in that situation, one second we are confident and driven, the next we are cowering under a giant’s shadow, diminishing everything we thought we believed five seconds ago. Whether the giant we are facing is intimidating us intentionally or not, it still plays havoc with our ability to conquer our doubts and achieve exactly what we set out to accomplish. We talk about diversity in the workplace but once we have the individuals in the door, there’s next to no effort to ensure they succeed. Nearly every underrepresented individual, whether they be women, racial minority, or veteran, is set up for failure. So we gave them a job, pat on the back for us, but are we really doing them any favors if they are miserable, get paid less, and don’t pursue opportunities out of fear of rejection or failure?
From my perspective I have seen this to be particularly true with women, though of course it applies to everyone. As I have mentioned in my previous post, women are biologically hard-wired to be more submissive thanks to our ancestors prioritizing physical strength as a source of power. However, nothing is stopping women, or anyone else, from taking power for themselves in whatever role they play. They simply have to develop the confidence and refuse to be overpowered, regardless of how small they may feel.
Of course it’s easier said than done, but despite my distaste for ‘self-help lists’, these are three things you can start doing today to intentionally face off against your giants and stop them in their tracks.
- Face off Against your biggest giant- nope this isn’t your boss or your competition at work, this is the person in the mirror when you get ready for your day. We are our own worst enemy, constantly convincing ourselves, we aren’t good enough, fast enough, smart enough, creative enough, or skilled enough. Before we hope to face our external giants, we have to conquer the inner one. Though this isn’t a new concept, almost no one I speak with actually does this. So before you go out to battle, look at yourself in the mirror and simply refuse to be weak. I’m not going to tell you a specific mantra or stance to take because again, it will be different for almost every single person. I will tell you to envision the person you want to be, whether it’s a superhero, you’re real life hero, or a fantasy version of yourself. Take at a minimum of 60 seconds to do nothing but see that person in the mirror. Maybe it’s just standing there, maybe you repeat a phrase. Just play around with it until you find that vision for yourself.
- Refuse to be interrupted- This is probably the simplest form of dominance but is detrimental to our confidence. When someone interrupts us, it makes us think what we have to say is less important. It slowly eats away at us, even if we are not conscious of it. So be very aware when you are talking and someone interrupts you. Address it immediately. Often it is not intentional by the other person and simply making them aware of it will be beneficial for both of you. If they are doing it intentionally it is even more vital that you let them know you are not someone to be steamrolled. If you’re not a confrontational person, you don’t have to practice this in the workplace right away. Start with people you trust and are comfortable around. Once you are confident in your ability to be direct with them about interrupting you, bring it to life with your real giants. Just remember, this is a two way street, this doesn’t give you free reign to talk non-stop. If you expect to be heard, you have to be prepared to listen. Allow others to speak their mind, only then are you entitled to speak yours.
- Get in your Battle Stance — Body language is the defining moment in any face-off. Often the proper stance will decide a confrontation or negotiation before it even begins. At the same time it is one of the hardest confidence boosters to achieve proficiency in, let alone master. If we feel dominated we instantly want to become a turtle, when we should become a lion. Our shoulders hunch, we avert our gaze, we let ourselves slouch, and we want nothing more than to run away from the situation and hide under the table in our shame. This is the primal moment when we have to fight our natural tendencies with every cell in our body. Stand straight up, push your shoulders back, look at the person dead on, and accept the situation for what it is. Even if you are wrong, maybe you made a mistake or didn’t meet your goals, you can still be confident in that situation. Own your failures and recognize that even if you aren’t the alpha in that moment, you’re still a %$@!ing lion.
I hope that you take this to heart and realize that even when facing giants, you can stand tall and believe that ultimately you will be victorious. Even if you have to fight again another day, don’t allow the battle to determine the war. Develop your skills, face your inner critic, practice your battle stance, and go forth and be great.

